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The given pie charts presented the proportion of energy production in a country by different sources.

The given pie charts presented the proportion of energy production in a country by different sources. 7WODA
The pie charts presented compare and contrast the percentage of energy produced from different sources (Natural gas, Coal, Hydrogen, Nuclear, Oil and other renewable sources) from 1985 to 2003. The unit is calibrated in percentage. In general, it is visible that the highest energy was produced by the oil from 1985 to 2003 and the least was produced by other renewable reources. Overall, the proportion of energy produced by different sources had been increased between the year 1985 and 2003. To embark, as witnessed from the observation, the energy produced by Natural gas was almost the quarter (13 %) in the year 1985 which slightly increased to 23% in the year 2003. Whereas, the contribution of Hydrogen in the production of energy remains same at 4% from 1985 to 2003. Apart from this, the contribution of Oil in the energy production was the highest that is 52% in 1985 and 39% in 2003. Moving further to the other sources of energy production, the proportion of energy produced by Coal was 8% in 1985 which gradually increased to 13% in 2003. However, the production of energy by Nuclear was decreased from 22 % in 1985 to 17% in 2003. Whilst, there was a minor increase in the contribution of other renewable resources in energy production from 1 % to 4% in 2003.
The pie charts presented compare and contrast the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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sources
(Natural gas, Coal, Hydrogen, Nuclear, Oil and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources)
from 1985 to 2003. The unit
is calibrated
in percentage.

In general
, it is visible that the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
by the oil from 1985 to 2003 and the least was
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produced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
renewable
Possible spelling mistake found.
reources
.
Overall
, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
had
been increased
between the year 1985 and 2003.

To embark, as witnessed from the observation, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
by Natural gas was almost the quarter (13 %) in the year 1985 which
slightly
increased to 23% in the year 2003.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, the contribution of Hydrogen in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
remains same at 4% from 1985 to 2003. Apart from this, the contribution of Oil in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
was the highest
that is
52% in 1985 and 39% in 2003.

Moving
further
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
by Coal was 8% in 1985 which
gradually
increased to 13% in 2003.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
by Nuclear
was decreased
from 22 % in 1985 to 17% in 2003. Whilst, there was a minor increase in the contribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
renewable resources in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
from 1 % to 4% in 2003.
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IELTS essay The given pie charts presented the proportion of energy production in a country by different sources.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
221 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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