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Describe a beautiful place to visit in your country

Describe a beautiful place to visit in your country 7WO2y
There are a lot of beatiful place in my country. One of them that i would recomened to you is HA Long Bay. HA Long Bay is an UNESCO World Heritage Site and popular travel destination in Quang Ning Province, Viet Nam. You can get the by car in 35 min if you stay at Quang Ning. If you stay at Ha Noi you can get there on national highway 5 and it will take you about 3 hours. Ha Long Bay have a lot of intersing things to visit so if you want to visit all of them it might take 3 to 5 days to visit. Firstly you can go to the beach. Secondly you can visit some islands in the like fighting Cock Island, . . . Thirdly you can visit some popular caves it is Sung Sot cave, Da Go cave, Me Cung cave. Fouthly you can visit night street. In night Ha Long Bay have a lot intersing things to do. Finally I can go shopping at Cat Ba Island Market. I recomend this place becasure beacuse it is a beatiful, popular and interesting place to visit in viet nam
There are
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a lot of
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beatiful
place in my country. One of them that
Did you mean "I"?
i
would
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recomened
to you is HA
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Long
Bay. HA
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Long
Bay is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
UNESCO World Heritage Site and popular travel destination in
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Quang
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Ning
Province,
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Viet
Nam. You can
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get
the by car in 35 min if you stay at
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Quang
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Ning
. If you stay at Ha
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Noi
you can
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get
there on national highway 5 and it will take you about 3 hours. Ha
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Long
Bay have
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a lot of
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intersing
things to
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visit
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so
if you want to
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visit
all of them it might take 3 to 5 days to
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visit
.
Firstly
you can go to the beach.
Secondly
you can
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visit
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some
islands in the like fighting Cock Island
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Thirdly
you can
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visit
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some
popular
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caves
it
is Sung
Sot
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cave
,
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Da
Go
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cave
, Me
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Cung
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cave
.
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Fouthly
you can
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visit
night street. In night Ha
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Long
Bay have a lot
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intersing
things to do.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
I can go shopping at Cat Ba Island Market. I
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recomend
this place
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becasure
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beacuse
it is a
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beatiful
, popular and interesting place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
in
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viet
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
nam
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IELTS essay Describe a beautiful place to visit in your country

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
194 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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