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The given picture illustrates different stages of the process to yield sugar from sugarcane.

The given picture illustrates different stages of the process to yield sugar from sugarcane. rbQm2
The given picture illustrates different stages of the process to yield sugar from sugarcane. Overall, sugar production includes 7 steps, starting from the farming, crushing, separating and ending at the drying phase. First of all, sugarcane is grown in the 12 to 18 month crop before being mature and harvested in a manual or mechanical way. Harvested sugarcane then witnesses a crushing stage to produce the juice by a specialized machine. To be purified, extracted juice is allowed to flow through a filter which is made out of limestone to become the pure one. Water is removed from that pure liquid by heating juice in a evaporator with high temperature in order to become a syrup. After that, a centrifuge is used to separate sugar crystals from syrup by spinning them in the way with high speed. Sugar crystals then need to be dried and cooled to be sugar completely.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
picture illustrates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages of the process to yield
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
from sugarcane.

Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
production includes 7 steps, starting from the farming, crushing, separating and ending at the drying phase.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, sugarcane
is grown
in the 12 to 18 month
Possible agreement error. The noun 'crop' seems to be countable, so consider using: "crops".
crop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being mature and harvested in a manual or mechanical way. Harvested sugarcane then witnesses a crushing stage to produce the juice by a specialized machine. To
be purified
, extracted juice is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to flow through a filter which
is made
out of limestone to become the pure one.

Water
is removed
from that pure liquid by heating juice in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
evaporator with high temperature in order to become a syrup. After that, a centrifuge is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
crystals from syrup by spinning them in the way with high speed.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sugar
crystals then need to
be dried
and cooled to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
completely.

IELTS essay The given picture illustrates different stages of the process to yield sugar from sugarcane.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
150 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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