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The gap between the rich and the poor is getting wider. What are the causes of this problem and what measures can be done to improve the situation?

The gap between the rich and the poor is getting wider. What are the causes of this problem and what measures can be done to improve the situation? 9lKOr
It is true that there is a growing disparity between the wealthy and the poor in many regions of the world. The roots of this situation might be multifactorial and effective solutions should be proposed to deal with these issues. The main reason for the inequality is lack of education. In developing countries, especially in rural areas, there are many people who are illiterate, while the employers highly prefer well-qualified staff with expert knowledge and computer literacy or foreign languages. As the result, many people become unemployed and cannot support themselves and their family. Moreover, the globalisation offers good conditions for developed countries to be more prosperous. Given their capabilities and power, rich nations often recover more quickly than their poor counterparts. This means that the poor are not only more prone to negative impacts of economic crises but also in more difficult circumstances. Several solutions should be implemented to tackle such problems. First, people from impoverished families should be provided with free education. Given the chance to study at university or vocational school, poor people could enhance their likelihood of having a better job to sustain their lives. Furthermore, many foundations should be established to raise money for poor people. The rich can share their money or food and other essential things for the poor who always live in famine. Even if we are not rich, we can also take part in volunteer work to help those people. In conclusion, up to these aforementioned ideas, there are some reasons which are responsible for the gap between rich and poor nations. However, if we can improve education and offer more support to the underprivileged, this problem will become easy to solve.
It is true that there is a growing disparity between the wealthy and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regions of the world. The roots of this situation might be multifactorial and effective solutions should
be proposed
to deal with these issues.

The main reason for the inequality is lack of education. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
,
especially
in rural areas, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are illiterate, while the employers
highly
prefer well-qualified staff with expert knowledge and computer literacy or foreign languages. As the result,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become unemployed and cannot support themselves and their family.
Moreover
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
offers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
conditions for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
to be more prosperous.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
their capabilities and power,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
recover more
quickly
than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
counterparts. This means that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
more prone to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of economic crises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in more difficult circumstances.

Several solutions should
be implemented
to tackle such problems.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from impoverished families should
be provided
with free education.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the chance to study at university or vocational school,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could enhance their likelihood of having a better job to sustain their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foundations should
be established
to raise money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
can share their money or food and other essential things for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
who always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in famine. Even if we are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
, we can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in volunteer work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, up to these aforementioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons which are responsible for the gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
nations.
However
, if we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
education and offer more support to the underprivileged, this problem will become easy to solve.
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IELTS essay The gap between the rich and the poor is getting wider. What are the causes of this problem and what measures can be done to improve the situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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