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The gap between the rich and poor is widening in many countries. What problems can this cause, and what can be done to reduce the gap?

The gap between the rich and poor is widening in many countries. What problems can this cause, and what can be done to reduce the gap? OVRgj
The world is ruled by rich and as well influential people. As you can see decades later, their name is highlighted in popular magazines like Forbes. Their desire is to prevail assets of their own country. In contrast, poor becomes less accessible to benefits; which are neither supported by the government nor their policies. The causes of these issues are explained below. Firstly, the system or architecture of a country's power is predominantly by influential people. Indeed, they add up their business by ameliorating their own nations gross domestic product (GDP). Moreover, they conduct enormous business capital transactions between different countries, in turn generates employment. Secondly, the mindset of an individual entirely depends on his preoccupied thoughts. Due to negative mindset, makes him tenuous at his life. It's his responsibility to change his own living standards, otherwise he bound to feel defeated all the time. In addition, politics play a significant role in deciding the fate of freshers anoint themselves to become rich. Consequently, dreamers Are eliminated before their desires are achieved. In fact, to stay at the top of their game these influences make a competitively path by destroying other young people. The best way to stay successful is think cohesively and coherently. The world belongs to one who is sedulous as well solicitous to others.
The world
is ruled
by rich and
as well
influential
people
. As you can
see
decades later, their name
is highlighted
in popular magazines like Forbes.

Their desire is to prevail assets of their
own
country.
In contrast
, poor becomes less accessible to benefits; which are neither supported by the
government
nor their policies. The causes of these issues are
explained
below.

Firstly
, the system or architecture of a country's power is
predominantly
by influential
people
.
Indeed
, they
add
up their business by ameliorating their
own
nations gross domestic product (GDP).
Moreover
, they conduct enormous business capital transactions between
different
countries, in turn generates employment.

Secondly
, the mindset of an individual
entirely
depends on his preoccupied thoughts. Due to
negative
mindset,
makes
him tenuous at his life. It's his responsibility to
change
his
own
living standards,
otherwise
he bound to feel defeated all the time.

In addition
, politics play a significant role in deciding the fate of freshers anoint themselves to become rich.
Consequently
, dreamers

Are eliminated
before
their desires
are achieved
. In fact, to stay at the top of their game these influences
make
a
competitively path
by destroying other young
people
.

The best way to stay successful is
think
cohesively
and
coherently
. The world belongs to one who is sedulous
as well
solicitous to others.
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IELTS essay The gap between the rich and poor is widening in many countries. What problems can this cause, and what can be done to reduce the gap?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
217 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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