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The function of women becomes significantly diverse over the previous hundred years period till now in the community. Nowadays, a lot of function is viewed as compulsory for women to be done. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

The function of women becomes significantly diverse over the previous hundred years period till now in the community. Nowadays, a lot of function is viewed as compulsory for women to be done. 6x2Xr
I completely agree that the burden women have to carry continues to be heavy because women are expected to fulfil numerous roles. More and more women work in many professional fields such as science, economics, and politics which were predominantly occupied by men. Many of our renowned scientists, economists, and politicians are women. Indonesia had its first women president in Megawati Soekarno Putri. Before her there were no women presidents in Indonesia. In the past, not many women have professional careers. After marriage, most women just have the role to be a wife and a mother in her family. . Beside their professional careers, women also have a role in the family. In family women have the role as a wife and as a mother. Women take care of their husbands and children, which make their role heavier if they also work in their respective fields. They have to allocate their time to balance these roles that they have. As an example, my wife has to take care of me and my son while she is working with the business that she starts on her own. As a mother she has to take care of my three years old son, from the time he wakes up until he is asleep while taking orders for her products to sell. I work at an office from 07. 30 to 17. 00 monday to friday, so i can only help her in the afternoon and at the weekend. I believe that the roles of women in our society will become larger and heavier.
I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the burden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carry continues to be heavy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to fulfil numerous roles.

More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
work in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professional fields such as science, economics, and politics which were
predominantly
occupied by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of our renowned scientists, economists, and politicians are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. Indonesia had its
first
Use "female".
women
president in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Megawati
Possible spelling mistake found.
Soekarno
Possible spelling mistake found.
Putri
.
“Before” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Before
her there were no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
presidents in Indonesia. In the past, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have professional careers. After marriage, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
to be a wife and a mother in her family.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


Beside their professional careers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
also
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in the family. In family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
as a wife and as a mother.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
take care of their husbands and children, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
heavier if they
also
work in their respective fields. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
allocate their time to balance these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
that they have. As an example, my wife
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take care of me and my son while she is working with the business that she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
on her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. As a mother she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take care of my three years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
son, from the time he wakes up until he is asleep while taking orders for her products to sell. I work at an office from 07. 30 to 17. 00
Possible spelling mistake found.
monday
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
friday
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Did you mean "I"?
i
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
her in the afternoon and
The phrase 'at the weekend' is a British English expression, which is used the same way as "on the weekend" in American English.
at the weekend
.

I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in our society will become larger and heavier.
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IELTS essay The function of women becomes significantly diverse over the previous hundred years period till now in the community. Nowadays, a lot of function is viewed as compulsory for women to be done.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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