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The football supporters behave violently. What are tthe reasons? What solutions can you suggest?

The football supporters behave violently. What are tthe reasons? What solutions can you suggest? aJmg9
In this day and age; the soccer admirers act angrily. This y will discuss the causes behind this and also provide solutions to ome this issue. To commence with, there are anumber of reasons that why the game supporters behave violently. The point worth noting is that, the games are becoming more competitive As, the supporterswant their team win, but if the team looses then they behave madly after seeing other team's supporters happy. For instance, in match many people do bet with others that only their team can win the match, but if their prediction goes wrong and they loose they behave like a mad person. Another point to be noted is that, sometimes they take alcohol while watching the match which make them behave more like an angry bird. As, alcohol make the bp high due to which the becomes more frustrated and also damage the things around them. Furthermore, there are a number of solutions to overcame this problem. First and foremost, the government should impose ban on having alcohol and other drugs. in the match stadiums. It will lesses the chances of voilence over there and also be a step towardsreducing the assumption of having alcohol. Moreover, the supporters should control their emotions. They must learn that game is not about winning or losing it's about playing and learning and gaining experience. They must build the emotion of sportsmanship in them. To conclude, the football supporters behave violently due to the competitive emotions and drinking of alcohol. Whereas, we can solve this problem by imposing ban on having alcohol and encouraging suppoters to control their emoti
In this day and age; the soccer admirers act
angrily
. This y will discuss the causes behind this and
also
provide solutions to
Possible spelling mistake found.
ome
this issue.

To commence with, there
Possible spelling mistake found.
are anumber
of reasons that why the game supporters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behave
violently
. The point worth noting is that, the games are becoming more competitive As, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
supporterswant
their team win,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if the team looses then they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behave
madly
after seeing other team's supporters happy.
For instance
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do bet with others that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their team can win the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if their prediction goes
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
wrong and
they loose they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behave
like a mad person.

Another point to
be noted
is that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
while watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behave
more like an angry bird. As,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
bp
high due to which the becomes more frustrated and
also
damage
Consider using "the surrounding things".
the things around them
.

Furthermore
, there are a number of solutions
Did you mean "to overcome"?
to overcame
this problem.
First
and foremost, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose ban on having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
and other drugs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
stadiums. It will
Possible spelling mistake found.
lesses
the chances of
Possible spelling mistake found.
voilence
over there and
also
be a step
Possible spelling mistake found.
towardsreducing
the assumption of having alcohol.

Moreover
, the supporters should control their emotions. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn that game is not about winning or losing it's about playing and learning and gaining experience. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
build the emotion of sportsmanship in them.

To conclude
, the football supporters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behave
violently
due to the competitive emotions and drinking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
. Whereas, we can solve this problem by imposing ban on having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
and encouraging
Possible spelling mistake found.
suppoters
to control their
Possible spelling mistake found.
emoti
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IELTS essay The football supporters behave violently. What are tthe reasons? What solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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