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Older people have the opportunity to work until any age

Older people have the opportunity to work until any age eb20G
Postponing retirement can be easily seen among senior workers these days. While extending working life can have several advantages, I still believe that its drawbacks may be far more significant. On the other hand, there are several benefits to delaying retirement age. In particular, senior employees with a prolonged working life have encountered numerous challenges and obstacles at work. They have gained precious working experience, which enables them to handle the tasks more effectively and to offer valuable advice to younger colleagues. In addition, working beyond the standard retirement age allows old people to make their own earnings and increase their pension. Being financially independent, the aged can pay for their living expenses, thus instilling a sense of self-worth among old people. However, I believe that delaying retirement can have some undesired ramifications which overshadow the aforementioned benefits. The major problem is that the old workers are not able to keep up with the heavy workload due to their deteriorated health and depression. It can be seen that older people are vulnerable to disease and stress, and they may frequently suffer from constant fatigue. Such problems decrease the effectiveness and productivity of companies. Another idea worth mentioning is that over-65-year-old senior workers hold a different perspective on a problem. Their solutions can be outdated and no longer necessary when tackling complicated business problems, compared to the ideas of younger employees who are more creative. In conclusion, even though extending working life could bring several financial benefits, I believe that prolonged working life would have a negative impact on business activities.
Postponing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
can be
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
among senior workers these days. While extending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can have several advantages, I
still
believe that its drawbacks may be far more significant.

On the other hand
, there are several benefits to delaying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
age.
In particular
, senior employees with a prolonged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
have encountered numerous challenges and obstacles at work. They have gained precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
experience, which enables them to handle the tasks more
effectively
and to offer valuable advice to younger colleagues.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
beyond the standard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
earnings and increase their pension. Being
financially
independent, the aged can pay for their living expenses,
thus
instilling a sense of self-worth among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

However
, I believe that delaying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
undesired ramifications which overshadow the aforementioned benefits. The major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
workers are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the heavy workload due to their deteriorated health and depression. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are vulnerable to disease and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, and they may
frequently
suffer from constant fatigue. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
decrease the effectiveness and productivity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
worth mentioning is that over-65-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
senior workers hold a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. Their solutions can
be outdated
and no longer necessary when tackling complicated business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, compared to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of younger employees who are more creative.

In conclusion
,
even though
extending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
could bring several financial benefits, I believe that prolonged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
would have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on business activities.
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IELTS essay Older people have the opportunity to work until any age

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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