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The following is a memorandum from the director of personnel to the president of Get Away Airlines Since our mechanics are responsible for inspecting and maintaining our aircraft Get Away Airlines should pay to send them to the Quality Care Seminar a two

The following is a memorandum from the director of personnel to the president of Get Away Airlines Since our mechanics are responsible for inspecting and maintaining our aircraft Get Away Airlines should pay to send them to the Quality Care Seminar a two n6e7K
The author of the argument, the director of personnel to the president of Get-Away Airlines, argues that they should provide their mechanics, who are responsible for the inspection and maintenance of their aircrafts to be sent to a Quality-care seminar. The author cites that g the seminar focuses on proper maintainenance procedures and that the author is conivnced that by doing so the money that will be invested in this venture will ensure better maintenance in future and thus greater customer satisfaction, finally healthier profits. The author justifies the efficacy of the seminar by citing the reports from the automobile racing industry, whose mechanics are purported to have had great benefits. The author's arguments seems to be based on some unwarranted claims that needs further information and clarification to make a cogent argument. The unwarranted assumptions are discussed in the followinf paragraphs. Firstly, the author relies heavily on the reports of the automobile racing industry. Perhaps the report provided by the automobile racing industry are exaggerated to show their industry in a better light. It is also possible that not all, might be a significant number of the corporation that belong to the automobile industry didnot invest in the seminar. This would result in a report that will have very few proponents of the seminar. It would be risky to rely on a report that has been ratified by a small fraction of the whole industry. Thus the author must assess and justify the success of this two week seminar program in the automobile industry before relying with such confidence on it. Secondly, The author fails to mention or consider the work experience the mechanics of the automobile racing industry had in comparison to the mechanics of Get-Away Airlines. The relevance lies in the fact that more work experience or a significant amount of it might be required or a prerequisite for the seminar. Perhaps the mechanics of Get-Away Airlines donot have enough work experience, this would make the seminar much less effective and beneficial for them when compared to their peers in the automobile racing industry. Thus, the author must focus on surveys that would help in providing a simulacrum of the efficiency of the course based on the work experience a mechanic has. Thirdly, the author fails to quantify that by how many of the procedures that are performed by automobile racing mechanics are germane and similar to the mechanics working for an aviation company. Perhaps, the procedures are similar but have minute details that are associated with it that are unique to the industries in which they are performed. Thus it might not be appropriate to consider the two procedures as similar, as their minute details when taken into account might have tremendous significance. It is possible that though it seems many procedures are similar to each other for the two industries but aviation industries have far more number of procedures that are not covered by the seminar. Thus the author must quantify the number of procedures that are similar and appropos. Lastly, the number of procedure that the mechanics will receive training for in the seminar might not be enough considering that they belong to the aviation industry. Perhaps, few number of procedures are discussed and trainings for them are provided in a short interval of time like two weeks. For Mechanics belonging to aviation it might not be enough and thus the seminar might not be a good investment by the company. In sum, the unwarranted assumptions discussed in the above paragraphs, weaken the argument. The author must consider the above reasonings and provide relevant information to the reader to make a cogent argument.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
, the director of personnel to the president of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Get
-Away Airlines, argues that they should provide their mechanics, who are responsible for the inspection and maintenance of their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "aircraft", the plural form of the noun 'aircraft'?
aircrafts
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to a Quality-care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
cites that g the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
focuses on proper
Possible spelling mistake found.
maintainenance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
procedures
and that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
conivnced
that by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the money that will
be invested
in this venture will ensure better maintenance in future and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
greater customer satisfaction,
finally
healthier profits.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
justifies the efficacy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
by citing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reports
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automobile
racing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
, whose mechanics
are purported
to have had great benefits.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
author's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arguments
seems to
be based
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unwarranted claims that needs
further
information and clarification to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a cogent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
unwarranted assumptions
are discussed
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
followinf
paragraphs.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
relies
heavily
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reports
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automobile
racing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
. Perhaps the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
report
provided by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automobile
racing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
are exaggerated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
in a better light. It is
also
possible that not all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of the corporation that belong to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
Possible spelling mistake found.
didnot
invest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
. This would result in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
report
that will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few proponents of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
. It would be risky to rely on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
report
that has
been ratified
by a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
fraction of the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
assess and justify the success of this two week
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
program in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
relying with such confidence on it.

Secondly
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
fails to mention or consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
the mechanics of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automobile
racing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
had
in comparison
to the mechanics of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Get
-Away Airlines. The relevance lies in the fact that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
or a significant amount of it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be required
or a prerequisite for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
. Perhaps the mechanics of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Get
-Away Airlines
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
much less effective and beneficial for them when compared to their peers in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automobile
racing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
focus on surveys that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in providing a simulacrum of the efficiency of the course based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mechanic
has.

Thirdly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
fails to quantify that by how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
procedures
that
are performed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automobile
racing mechanics are germane and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
to the mechanics working for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aviation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. Perhaps, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
procedures
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have minute
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
that
are associated
with it that are unique to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
in which they
are performed
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be appropriate to consider the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
procedures
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
, as their minute
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
when taken into account
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have tremendous significance. It is possible that though it seems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
procedures
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
to each other for the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aviation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
have far more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
procedures
that are not covered by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
quantify the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
procedures
that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
appropos
.

Lastly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
procedure
that the mechanics will receive training for in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
considering that they belong to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aviation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
. Perhaps, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
procedures
are discussed
and trainings for them
are provided
in a short interval of time like two weeks. For Mechanics belonging to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aviation
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
investment by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

In sum, the unwarranted assumptions discussed in the above paragraphs, weaken the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider the above
Possible spelling mistake found.
reasonings
and provide relevant information to the reader to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a cogent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
.
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IELTS essay The following is a memorandum from the director of personnel to the president of Get Away Airlines Since our mechanics are responsible for inspecting and maintaining our aircraft Get Away Airlines should pay to send them to the Quality Care Seminar a two

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
609 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • The following is a memorandum from the director of personnel to the president of Get Away Airlines Since our mechanics are responsible for inspecting and maintaining our aircraft Get Away Airlines should pay to send them to the Quality Care Seminar a two