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A recent study suggests that people who are left handed are more likely to succeed in business than are right handed people Researchers studied photographs of 1 000 prominent business executives and found that 21 percent of these executives wrote with the

A recent study suggests that people who are left handed are more likely to succeed in business than are right handed people Researchers studied photographs of 1 000 prominent business executives and found that 21 percent of these executives wrote with the 85JEm
The author argues that the people who are left-handed would have a better chance in pursuing careers in business and the right-handed people should rather rely on and learn from the practices the left-hande people adopt in pursuing careers in business. The cites a recent study that has descried that the left-handed people who excel in business are in higher percentages that the percentage of people who are left-handed in a general population. The author's argument seems to be based on some unwarranted assumptions that should be clarified to make a cogent case. The assumptions weaken the argument and are discussed in the following paragraphs. Firstly, there in no mention of the body that has conducted the study. Without a credible source for the study the arguement might seem vague. Perhaps the studies were conducted by a lesser known organization that is not known for its scientific findings, It might be possible that there can be adulterations in the data and the results of the study due to factors ranging from, not following proper research norms, to deliberate attempt by someone. The author must mention the source of the study so as the readers can find this argument credible. Secondly, the study is conducted on 1, 000 prominent business executives, where there is no mention of regional and ethnical backgrounds of the people considered for the study. Perhaps, the regional and ethnical backgrounds of people have a role in determining the success rate in their business careers. It may be possible that the subjects for the study had the same regional and ethnical background which would implicate that the study is deemed to fail on an ubiquitous basis. The author must gather details of the subjects who were considered for the study to provide a comprehensive view of how the study might actually be germane to people. Thirdly, for a study that concludes in general that left-handed people have better probability in succeeding in business than their right-handed counterparts, there are only 1000 people who were considered. Perhaps, thousand people are not sufficient enough to arrive at conclusive results. It may be possible that the results would be vary significantly if the number of subjects were increased commensurate to the current population. This would elicit better results from the study. The author fails to make a coherent argument as no relation between the statistical numbers provided in the arguement are provided. Lastly, there has been exposotion that relates how the hand of use relates to the brain functioning and which is significant enough to bring noticeable discrepancies between the two, in terms of a success rate as business executives. Perhaps, there are other brain functions that dominate ones ability to suceed as a business executive, more than someone's dominant hand. The author relies on a study that fails to setup the relation to the observation and the results. This adds to the unreliability of the argument. In conclusion, the argument by the author is weakened by the above-stated reasons. If the author investigates about the organization that conducted the study and the factors that were considered in the study the author can make a cogent case to the readers. The author must judge and establish reliability of the study and its results to make a stronger argument.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
argues that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
-handed would have a better chance in pursuing careers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and the right-handed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
rather
rely on and learn from the practices the
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left-hande
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people
adopt in pursuing careers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. The cites a recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
that has descried that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
-handed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
excel in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
are in higher percentages that the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
-handed in a general population.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
author's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
seems to
be based
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unwarranted assumptions that should
be clarified
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a cogent case.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
assumptions weaken the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
and
are discussed
in the following paragraphs.

Firstly
, there in no mention of the body that has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conducted
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. Without a credible source for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
arguement
might seem vague. Perhaps the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conducted
by a lesser known organization
that is
not known for its scientific findings, It might be possible that there can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
adulterations
in the data and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
due to factors ranging from, not following proper research norms, to deliberate attempt by someone. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
mention the source of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as the readers can find this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
credible.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conducted
on 1, 000 prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
executives, where there is no mention of regional and ethnical backgrounds of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
considered
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. Perhaps, the regional and ethnical backgrounds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a role in determining the success rate in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
careers. It may be possible that the subjects for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
had the same regional and ethnical background which would implicate that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is deemed
to fail on
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
ubiquitous basis. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
gather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of the subjects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
considered
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
to provide a comprehensive view of how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
might actually be germane to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Thirdly
, for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
that concludes
in general
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
-handed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have better probability
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in succeeding in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
than their right-handed counterparts, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
considered
. Perhaps,
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not sufficient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to arrive at conclusive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
. It may be possible that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
would be
Consider using the past participle "varied"?
vary
significantly
if the number of subjects
were increased
commensurate to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
population. This would elicit better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
fails to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a coherent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
as no relation between the statistical numbers provided in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
arguement
are provided
.

Lastly
, there has been
Possible spelling mistake found.
exposotion
that relates how the hand of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
relates to the brain functioning and which is significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to bring noticeable discrepancies between the two, in terms of a success rate as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
executives. Perhaps, there are other brain functions that dominate
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
ability to
Possible spelling mistake found.
suceed
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
executive, more than someone's dominant hand. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
relies on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
that fails
The verb 'set up' is spelled as two words. The noun 'setup' is spelled as one.
to setup
the relation to the observation and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
to the unreliability of the argument.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
is weakened
by the above-stated reasons. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
investigates about the organization that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conducted
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and the factors that were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
considered
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a cogent case to the readers. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
judge and establish reliability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a stronger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
.
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IELTS essay A recent study suggests that people who are left handed are more likely to succeed in business than are right handed people Researchers studied photographs of 1 000 prominent business executives and found that 21 percent of these executives wrote with the

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
547 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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