Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

According to an independent poll of 200 charitable organizations overall donations of money to nonprofit groups increased last year but educational institutions did not fare as well as other organizations Donations to international aid groups increased th

According to an independent poll of 200 charitable organizations overall donations of money to nonprofit groups increased last year but educational institutions did not fare as well as other organizations Donations to international aid groups increased th 9LYq7
Grounding on the poll of 200 charitable organizations and the economic indicators, supposing that there is a decrease in donations for educational field, and then synthesizing the hypothesis that people tends to donate less to educational institutions even if they get higher income, the author accordingly suggests that people put less emphasis on education than before. Citing the poll conducted among 200 different charitable organizations, the author noticed a decrease in the donation to the educational ones. Comparing to the increase in donation of the other fields, the author thus assumes that people take education less seriously. However, the argument did not provide the information of how the poll was conducted, who responded to the poll and why these 200 organizations were chose. Perhaps there are another 200 educational charitable organizations not involved in this poll which actually showed an increased donation. Or maybe last year, the society was confronted an environmental crisis and thus draw the attention of the public to donate. There is also a good chance that other countries encounter natural disasters or suffer from endemic disease, and therefore result in shortages of resources which require helps from international aid groups. Since we only know the percentages instead of hard numbers, it is possible that the real amount of the educational donation actually surpass the amount of others. The author should rule out the above possibilities to make the statement more convincing. Moreover, the author’s though is that higher incomes will translate into more donations. This may well be, but what if people just want to spend their increased earning on recreational activities as a reward of hard working? People’s habits of making donation should be set forth before establishing this causal relationship. Otherwise, the increased income is not a reliable prognostic factor at all. In addition, an economic indicator of a single year cannot be representative of the overall income status of the people. What if people in fact work hard to make ends meet in the other years? A rare wage increase and a decrease in the donation in education may simply be a coincidence. The author fails to justifiably conclude that people place less importance on education is the cause of lower educational donation. In sum, drawing a conclusion that people place less value on education based on several unwarranted assumptions seems to be unpersuasive as it stands.
Grounding on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poll
of 200 charitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
and the economic indicators, supposing that there is a decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donations
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
field, and then synthesizing the hypothesis that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
tends
to donate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutions even if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
accordingly
suggests that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
emphasis on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

Citing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poll
conducted among 200
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
charitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
noticed a decrease in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donation
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
ones. Comparing to the increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donation
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
fields, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
thus
assumes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
seriously
.
However
, the argument did not provide the information of how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poll
was conducted
, who responded to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poll
and why these 200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
were
Consider using a past participle here: "chosen".
chose
. Perhaps there are another 200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
charitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
not involved in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poll
which actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donation
. Or maybe last year, the society
was confronted
an environmental crisis and
thus
draw the attention of the public to donate. There is
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chance that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries encounter natural disasters or suffer from endemic disease, and
therefore
result in shortages of resources which require
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
from international aid groups. Since we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
know the percentages
instead
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
numbers, it is possible that the real amount of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donation
actually surpass the amount of others. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
out the above possibilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the statement more convincing.

Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author’s
though is that higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incomes
will translate into more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donations
. This may well be,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to spend their increased earning on recreational activities as a reward of
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
?
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People’s
habits of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donation
should
be set
forth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
establishing this causal relationship.
Otherwise
, the increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
is not a reliable prognostic factor at all.
In addition
, an economic indicator of a single year cannot be representative of the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
status of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. What if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in fact work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
years? A rare wage increase and a decrease in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
donation
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
may
simply
be a coincidence. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
fails to
justifiably
conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
place
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
importance on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the cause of lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
donation.

In sum, drawing a conclusion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
place
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
value on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
based on several unwarranted assumptions seems to be unpersuasive as it stands.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay According to an independent poll of 200 charitable organizations overall donations of money to nonprofit groups increased last year but educational institutions did not fare as well as other organizations Donations to international aid groups increased th

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
394 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • According to an independent poll of 200 charitable organizations overall donations of money to nonprofit groups increased last year but educational institutions did not fare as well as other organizations Donations to international aid groups increased th