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The following appeared as part of a petition sent to residents of Youngtown by an environmental protection group The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve This sanctuary is essent

The following appeared as part of a petition sent to residents of Youngtown by an environmental protection group The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve This sanctuary is essent pRbxa
The petition sent by environmental group to the inhabitants of Youngtown expresses discontent about the land sale that is going to happen in near future. The environmental group asserts that the land buyer, Smith group is planning to construct a hotel and the construction will be harmful to a bird sanctuary which is present in that area. The environmental group predicts that, the hotel will have bad consequences rather than good ones and opposes the construction of the hotel. The argument seems reasonable at a cursory glance but detailed analysis reveals some loopholes. So, to examine the validity of the argument thorough analysis is needed. The first assumption the author makes is, the area is home for 300 verities of birds. However, author fails to cite the source or information which led to this assumption. Even if the the author mentions the source, how credible that is? It could be possible that, the author is making his assumption based on 5 year old data and which may not be valid now. So, the author should provide data that proves his assumption that the area is actually a bird sanctuary. If, the area is no more a wildlife preserve the argument does not hold water. Subsequently, one more assumption author makes is, the planned construction from Smith group will be harmful to the the area but fails to provide any evidence about this statement. To prove this fact, records about previous constructions of Smith group are needed. What if Smith group is actually good and always fulfills its promises? In this case the author's assumption will be wrong. Next assumption the author makes is, the construction will not be useful for the area. But, the residents are not against it. There could be many benefits from this construction. What if some people in the area are unemployed and the Smith group plans to take some local workers? Unemployed people can work and earn some money and there by improving the economy. If the sanctuary is preserved, more and more tourists will visit and there by the hotel makes some profit. Author should provide some data or information to prove that his assumption is correct. In a nutshell, the author fails to present cogent argument in front of the audience. The author must provide evidence to prove that his unstated and stated assumptions are correct invariably and by doing so he can make his argument more tenable. Without such evidence it is very difficult to say if the argument is correct or not. Thus, the Youngtown residents should think further on the letter from environmentalists before selling land to Smith group.
The petition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
by environmental
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group
to the inhabitants of
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Youngtown
expresses discontent about the land sale
that is
going to happen in near future. The environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
asserts that the land buyer,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smith
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
is planning to construct a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
will be harmful to a bird sanctuary which is present in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
predicts that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
will have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequences
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ones and opposes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
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argument
seems reasonable at a cursory glance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
detailed analysis reveals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
loopholes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, to examine the validity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
thorough analysis
is needed
.

The
first
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assumption
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
is, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is home for 300 verities of birds.
However
,
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author
fails to cite the source or information which led to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assumption
. Even if
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
mentions the source, how credible
that is
? It could be possible that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
is making his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assumption
based on 5 year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
data and which may not be valid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
should
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provide
data that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proves
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assumption
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is actually a bird sanctuary.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is no more a wildlife preserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
does not hold water.

Subsequently
, one more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assumption
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
is, the planned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
from
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Smith
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
will be harmful to
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fails to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
any evidence about this statement. To
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prove
this fact, records about previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smith
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
are needed
. What if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smith
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
is actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and always fulfills its promises?
In this case
the author's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assumption
will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.

Next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assumption
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
is, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
will not be useful for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the residents are not against it. There could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
. What if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
are unemployed
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smith
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
plans to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
local workers? Unemployed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can work and earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money and there by improving the economy. If the sanctuary
is preserved
, more and more tourists will visit and there by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
profit.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Author
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
data or information to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prove
that his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assumption
is correct.

In a nutshell, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
fails to present cogent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
in front of the audience. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
evidence to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prove
that his unstated and stated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assumptions
are correct
invariably
and by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
more tenable. Without such evidence it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to say if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is correct or not.
Thus
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youngtown
residents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
further
on the letter from environmentalists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
selling land to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smith
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
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IELTS essay The following appeared as part of a petition sent to residents of Youngtown by an environmental protection group The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve This sanctuary is essent

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
439 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • The following appeared as part of a petition sent to residents of Youngtown by an environmental protection group The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve This sanctuary is essent