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Children over the age of 15 should be allowed to vote.

Children over the age of 15 should be allowed to vote. qVQ9D
Some people suggest that affording children over fifteen the right to vote would lead to a better society. After all, the more voices are heard in a democracy, the more legitimacy elected leaders have. Be that as it may, I believe that society would actually be worse off if fifteen-year-olds were allowed to vote. Teenagers are too immature to vote, and often simply copy the preferences of their parents. Fifteen, is simply put, not very old. Children at that age lack the emotional maturity needed to make intelligent decisions when voting. They often feel passionately about a topic one day only to have their interest fizzle out the next; clearly, that causes problems when the decisions made affect people throughout society. Fifteen-year-olds also lack the sophistication needed to distinguish between truly valuable causes and those that are merely exciting. Politicians would simply speak to the emotions of the younger voters during speeches, and teenagers might vote for frivolous policies, such as longer school vacations. But voting should not be taken so lightly—no choice, arguably, could be of more importance. I also believe it would be a mistake to allow fifteen-year-olds to vote because they are likely to simply copy the preferences of their parents. For example, during elections, voters are often influenced by economic factors, such as promises to provide tax breaks, the expansion of social aid programs. But fifteen-year-olds are not economically independent. Their financial situations depend on those of their parents. For this reason, their parents would influence them to vote to most help the family financially, which is not honest democracy. To make matters worse, politicians would realize that families usually vote in the same way, and start emphasizing policies helping families at the expense of other interest groups in order to get their votes. For example, politicians might promise to raise money for schools by taxing businesses. This would effectively give parents a disproportionately large influence. There is a good reason that virtually no country on the planet allows people who are so young to vote. They have yet to mature into responsible tax-paying citizens. Their interests are fickle, and not aligned with what is best for society as a whole. It would be a mistake to give them influence in the democratic process.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest that affording children over fifteen the right to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
would lead to a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
After all
, the more voices
are heard
in a democracy, the more legitimacy elected leaders have. Be that as it may, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
would actually be worse off if fifteen-year-olds were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
are too immature to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
simply
copy the preferences of their parents.

Fifteen, is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
simply
put, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. Children at that age lack the emotional maturity needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
intelligent decisions when voting. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel
passionately
about a topic one day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to have their interest fizzle out the
next
;
clearly
, that causes problems when the decisions made affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
throughout
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Fifteen-year-olds
also
lack the sophistication needed to distinguish between
truly
valuable causes and those that are
merely
exciting. Politicians would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
simply
speak to the emotions of the younger voters during speeches, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
for frivolous policies, such as longer school vacations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
voting should not
be taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
lightly
—no choice,
arguably
, could be of more importance.

I
also
believe it would be a mistake to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
fifteen-year-olds to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
simply
copy the preferences of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
For example
, during elections, voters are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
influenced by economic factors, such as promises to provide tax breaks, the expansion of social aid programs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
fifteen-year-olds are not
economically
independent. Their financial situations depend on those of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
For this reason
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would influence them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
to most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the family
financially
, which is not honest democracy. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
matters worse, politicians would realize that families
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
in the same way
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
emphasizing policies helping families at the expense of other interest groups in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
votes
.
For example
, politicians might promise to raise money for schools by taxing businesses. This would
effectively
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
a
disproportionately
large influence.

There is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason that
virtually
no country on the planet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
young to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
. They have
yet
to mature into responsible tax-paying citizens. Their interests are fickle, and not aligned with what is best for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as a whole. It would be a mistake to give them influence in the democratic process.
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IELTS essay Children over the age of 15 should be allowed to vote.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
378 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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