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The flow chart below explains how laundry is handled. Using information from the flow chart describe the laundry process v.1

The flow chart below explains how laundry is handled. Using information from the flow chart describe the laundry process v. 1
Nowadays, the majority of individuals marry and have babies in their thirties rather than at a younger age. Although I believe this is a positive development because of some advantages such as career growth and financial freedom, the contentious issue of infertility is a cause for concern, and for this reason, I entirely disagree with this development. Late marriage and birth are beneficial to couples in some ways. First and foremost, couples will be able to develop their career path. Before marriage, there would be enough time to focus on an academic career, which may define the path to success. A final point to consider relates to financial freedom. Since the individuals might have been able to acquire jobs and establish their positions in the labour market, they may have a steady income which would serve as sources of finance for the family. For instance, most of my colleagues at Lanny Exports Limited who developed their careers for three decades before marriage claimed they could afford the financial responsibilities. That is to say, marrying around the age of thirties is quite positive. However, a female could have difficulties giving birth in her thirties due to infertility. As a woman grows older, her chances of getting pregnant reduce. After all, science has proven that most female reproductive organs are usually more fertile at a younger age. Now, of what benefit will it be for an individual to get married and, perhaps, not give birth? In conclusion, although getting married in the thirties will enable the couples to take their time to execute the career plans, infertility is a risk that cannot be taken. In my opinion, late marriage is a positive development, but I completely disagree with it.
Nowadays, the majority of individuals marry and have babies in their thirties
rather
than at a younger age. Although I believe this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
growth and financial freedom, the contentious issue of infertility is a cause for concern, and
for this reason
, I
entirely
disagree with this development.

Late
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
and birth are beneficial to couples in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways.
First
and foremost, couples will be able to develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
path.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
, there would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to focus on an academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, which may define the path to success. A final point to consider relates to financial freedom. Since the individuals might have been able to acquire jobs and establish their positions in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market, they may have a steady income which would serve as sources of finance for the family.
For instance
, most of my colleagues at Lanny Exports Limited who developed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
for three decades
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
claimed they could afford the financial responsibilities.
That is
to say, marrying around the age of thirties is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.

However
, a female could have difficulties giving birth in her thirties due to infertility. As a woman grows older, her chances of getting pregnant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
.
After all
, science has proven that most female reproductive organs are
usually
more fertile at a younger age.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, of what benefit will it be for an individual to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married and, perhaps, not give birth?

In conclusion
, although getting married in the thirties will enable the couples to take their time to execute the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
plans, infertility is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
that cannot
be taken
. In my opinion, late
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I completely disagree with it.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay The flow chart below explains how laundry is handled. Using information from the flow chart describe the laundry process v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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