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The first chart below shows how many energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. v.1

The first chart below shows how many energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. v. 1
Online shopping is becoming increasingly popular these days. While the advantages of e-commerce, such as time efficiency and cost-effectiveness are well recognised, there are also associated disadvantages, including difficulty in checking the quality and frequent return of the items. This essay will discuss both the pros and cons of online shopping from both consumers and sellers' points of view. Principle advantages for individuals are that online shopping can save time to travel to shops, and online products are generally cheaper than buying from a usual store. Online websites are accessible around the clock, and shoppers can compare items from different companies just by clicking the button. This allows consumers to find a cheaper deal easily, rather than physically going to different shops one by one. The benefit of cost-effectiveness also applies to companies as there are no rental fees and utility bills associated with opening street shops. Thus, companies can cut down the budget by a significant margin. Nonetheless, there are some disadvantages of online shopping. One obvious drawback is that it is difficult for individuals to know the quality of the products which are sold online before purchasing. For example, it is impossible to try on clothes when buying items online; therefore, consumers cannot ensure the correct size and the quality of materials. Consequently, not only does this lead to consumer dissatisfaction but also it negatively affects companies owing to a possible increase in complaints and returning of the purchased items. In conclusion, while e-commerce is increasingly popular as it offers cheap and time-saving services, the disadvantages of online shopping should also be addressed, otherwise, both consumers and companies' experience will be negative.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is becoming
increasingly
popular these days. While the advantages of e-commerce, such as time efficiency and cost-effectiveness are well
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
, there are
also
associated disadvantages, including difficulty in checking the quality and frequent return of the items. This essay will discuss both the pros and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
from both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
and sellers' points of view.

Did you mean "principal" (=main)?
Principle
advantages for individuals are that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
can save time to travel to shops, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
products are
generally
cheaper than buying from a usual store.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
websites are accessible around the clock, and shoppers can compare items from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by clicking the button. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
to find a cheaper deal
easily
,
rather
than
physically
going to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
shops one by one. The benefit of cost-effectiveness
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
as there are no rental fees and utility bills associated with opening street shops.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the budget by a significant margin.

Nonetheless, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. One obvious drawback is that it is difficult for individuals to know the quality of the products which
are sold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
purchasing.
For example
, it is impossible to try on clothes when buying items
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
;
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
cannot ensure the correct size and the quality of materials.
Consequently
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does this lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
dissatisfaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it
negatively
affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
owing to a possible increase in complaints and returning of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
items.

In conclusion
, while e-commerce is
increasingly
popular as it offers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and time-saving services, the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
should
also
be addressed
,
otherwise
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
' experience will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay The first chart below shows how many energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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