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The First car on British roads appeared in 1888. By the year 2020, there may be 20 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.1

The First car on British roads appeared in 1888. By the year 2020, there may be 20 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. v. 1
In the past, there was only a couple of cars on the road, but in these days there are several models and approximately 20 million cars on the road and these statistics are only for Great Britain. There are some both pros and cons about this situation. I think the government have to encourage people to use public transportation more. This amount of increase might be dangerous for pedestrians and also air quality. On the other hand, personal car makes the life much more easier. For instance, you have to go somewhere, but you don't have too much time. If you have a personal car, you can easily go anywhere you want in several minutes. Also, it's clearly more comfortable than the public transportation, such as bus, train or subway. However, our earth is suffering from air pollution and ozone layer thinning nowadays. These are the causes of uncontrolled car ownership and usage laws. I agreed that the government has to limit citizens maximum car amount. Moreover, the government has to extend the public transportation opportunities. Citizens must use the public transportation for decrease the air pollution and traffic. Of course, this is the government's job. They have to encourage the people to use public transportation more. Maybe lowering the prices will help. If people use public transportation more, they will be happy after they accustomed, because they will get rid of the traffic for their whole life and this might help to gain a time. To summarize, the government has to limit and control their citizen's rights. They shouldn't be free in this situation because our world is getting worse and worse. We have to change the world.
In the past, there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a couple of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the road,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in these days there are several models and approximately 20 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the road and these statistics are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for Great Britain. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
both pros and cons about this situation. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
more.

This amount of increase might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for pedestrians and
also
air quality.
On the other hand
, personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the life much
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
.
For instance
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go somewhere,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you don't have too much time. If you have a personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, you can
easily
go anywhere you want in several minutes.
Also
, it's
clearly
more comfortable than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
, such as bus, train or subway.
However
, our earth is suffering from air pollution and ozone layer thinning nowadays. These are the causes of uncontrolled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
ownership and usage laws.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
limit citizens maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
amount.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
extend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
opportunities. Citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
for decrease the air pollution and traffic.
Of course
, this is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's job. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
encourage the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
more.

Maybe lowering the prices will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
more, they will be happy after they accustomed,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of the traffic for their whole life and this might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to gain a time.

To summarize
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
limit and control their citizen's rights. They shouldn't be free in this situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
our world is getting worse and worse. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the world.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The First car on British roads appeared in 1888. By the year 2020, there may be 20 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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