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More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone? v.7

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone? v. 7
A city offers many facilities and opportunities which are not present in a rural area, but not without a cost. Pollutions, frantic competition, higher expense and less personal attachment between people often make cities difficult to live in. The government has a lot to do to improve the lifestyle of the city dwellers. The overwhelming expense is the main problem for anyone who moves to a city from a rural area or a small town. The cost of education, treatment, house rent, food and daily commodities are far higher in a city. Pollution in cities is the second most severe issue and it makes metropolitan areas less suitable for children to grow up. People in big cities live in a contaminated area where the CO2 emission, the presence of carbon and other toxic elements in the air is higher. Another drawback of living in a city is the social classification and the gap between rich and poor. Social discriminations in city areas are far higher than the other parts of the country. Moreover, people in small towns and villages have a great bonding and they know each other very well, which is quite the opposite in a city. Moreover, municipal life is full of competition and it makes people’s life miserable. Someone has to compete to get in a public car, wait for his turn to meet the doctor, wait several hours in the traffic jam and fight really hard to get a decent job. The competition is so high that even a child has to go through a tough fight to be accepted in a school. I believe that many steps can be taken by governments to tackle these issues. Firstly, the government should control the prices of the daily commodities and build more high rising buildings to reduce the house rent. Decentralisation and the development of the provincial towns would let the authorities shift many industries to these regions and thus reduce the pressure on the cities and metropolitan areas. In conclusion, the government should take initiatives to improve the city people's living standard and make sure rural areas and towns have plenty of job opportunities to reduce the pressure on the cities.
A city offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities and opportunities which are not present in a rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not without a cost. Pollutions, frantic competition, higher expense and less personal attachment between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has a lot to do to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the lifestyle of the city dwellers.

The overwhelming expense is the main problem for anyone who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
to a city from a rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
or a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
cost of education, treatment,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
rent, food and daily commodities are far higher in a city. Pollution in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is the second most severe issue and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
less suitable for children to grow up.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a contaminated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
where the CO2 emission, the presence of carbon and other toxic elements in the air is higher. Another drawback of living in a city is the social classification and the gap between rich and poor. Social discriminations in city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are far higher than the other parts of the country.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
and villages have a great
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
bonding and
they know each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well, which is quite the opposite in a city.
Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Moreover
, municipal life is full of competition and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life miserable. Someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
compete to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in a public car, wait for his turn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the doctor, wait several hours in the traffic jam and fight
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a decent job. The competition is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
high that even a child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
go through a tough fight to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in a school.

I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
steps can
be taken
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to tackle these issues.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should control the prices of the daily commodities and build more high rising buildings to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
rent.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Decentralisation' is British English.
Decentralisation
and the development of the provincial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the authorities shift
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
industries to these regions and
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pressure on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and metropolitan areas.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take initiatives to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's living standard and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
sure rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of job opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pressure on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
365 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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