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The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000, there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on the British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.35

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000, there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on the British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. v. 35
In modern society the transportation became one of the most essential needs. Therefore, the demand of owning a car grew immensely. With the growing number of cars, air pollution also increased to intolerable levels. As far as I am concerned regulations must be introduced to reduce the negative environmental effects of car use. First and foremost, there is a plethora of other means to commute. During warmer seasons a bicycle or a scooter would not only improve ones physical health, but also reduce the overall emissions of harmful gases. If there is a need for further trips, public transport is available. For example, the growing biking culture among the Scandinavian people is believed to be responsible for low fossil fuel usage in Norway, Sweden and Finland. It is clear that there are various transportation methods, that should be encouraged due to the fact that they cause less repercussions to the environment. Moreover, it is clear that some laws must be submitted on an international level. A rigid control of car ownership can minimise the negative impact on the ecology. A limitation of traffic in specific areas can contribute to reducing vehicle use. For instance, in Vilnius parking zones of different prices were introduced, according to their location. Consequently, there would be less cars on the road and people would opt out other eco-friendly options of commuting. To conclude, population growth caused the higher demand of cars. That lead to high emissions of carbon monoxide, carbon dioxide and other poisonous chemicals. To reduce pollution, strict regulations must be introduced and hopefully society will choose economic ways of travelling.
In modern society the transportation became one of the most essential needs.
Therefore
, the demand of owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
grew
immensely
. With the growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, air pollution
also
increased to intolerable levels.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
far as I
am concerned
regulations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be introduced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
environmental effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

First
and foremost, there is a plethora of other means to commute. During warmer seasons a bicycle or a scooter would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
ones physical health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
overall
emissions of harmful gases. If there is a need for
further
trips, public transport is available.
For example
, the growing biking culture among the Scandinavian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
believed to be responsible for low fossil fuel usage in Norway, Sweden and Finland. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are various transportation methods, that should
be encouraged
due to the fact that they cause
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun repercussions is countable.
less
repercussions to the environment.

Moreover
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
laws
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be submitted
on an international level. A rigid control of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
ownership can
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the ecology. A limitation of traffic in specific areas can contribute to reducing vehicle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
For instance
, in Vilnius parking zones of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
prices
were introduced
, according to their location.
Consequently
, there would be
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun cars is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the road and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would opt out other eco-friendly options of commuting.

To conclude
, population growth caused the higher demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. That lead to high emissions of carbon monoxide, carbon dioxide and other poisonous chemicals. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
pollution, strict regulations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be introduced
and
hopefully
society will choose economic ways of travelling.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000, there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on the British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. v. 35

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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