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The figure above represents devices used by people between the ages of 18 and 25 to watch television in Canada in 2009 and 2019.

The figure above represents devices used by people between the ages of 18 and 25 to watch television in Canada in 2009 and 2019. Pg3kw
The figure above represents devices used by people between the ages of 18 and 25 to watch television in Canada in 2009 and 2019. Overall, there were two figures, the first figure explains about devices used in 2009 and the second one explains about devices used in 2019. There were six devices which were mobile phone, laptop, tablet, desktop computer, flat-screen tv, and conventional tv. In 2009 the most used device was conventional tv with 34 percent. However, the percentage decreased into 4 percent in 2019. For desktop computer the percentage in 2009 was 18 percent and the percentage decreased to 12 percent in 2019. Not only the percentage of conventional tv and desktop computer, the percentage for laptop was also decreased. In 2009 the percentage for laptop was 20 percent but in 2019 the percentage dropped to 12 percent. The highest percentage increase was for flat screen tv. In 2009 the percentage for flat screen tv was only 8 percent, however the percentage increased to 27 percent. For tablet usage the percentage in 2009 was 5 percent, the number increased up to 19 percent in 2019. There was also a percentage increase in mobile phone usage. In 2009 the percentage was 15 percent but in 2019 the percentage increased to 26 percent.
The figure above represents
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devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
between the ages of 18 and 25 to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television in Canada in 2009 and 2019.

Overall
, there were two figures, the
first
figure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
about
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devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in 2009 and the second one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
about
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devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in 2019. There were six
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devices
which were mobile phone, laptop, tablet, desktop computer, flat-screen
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tv
, and conventional
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tv
.

In 2009 the most
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used
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device
was conventional
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tv
with 34
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percent
.
However
, the
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percentage
decreased into 4
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percent
in 2019. For desktop computer the
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percentage
in 2009 was 18
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percent
and the
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percentage
decreased to 12
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percent
in 2019. Not
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only
the
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percentage
of conventional
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
and desktop computer, the
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percentage
for laptop was
also
decreased. In 2009 the
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percentage
for laptop was 20
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percent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2019 the
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percentage
dropped to 12 percent.

The highest
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percentage
increase was for flat screen
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
. In 2009 the
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percentage
for flat screen
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tv
was
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only
8
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percent
,
however
the
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percentage
increased to 27
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percent
. For tablet usage the
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percentage
in 2009 was 5
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percent
, the number increased up to 19
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percent
in 2019. There was
also
a
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percentage
increase in mobile phone usage. In 2009 the
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percentage
was 15
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percent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2019 the
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percentage
increased to 26
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percent
.
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IELTS essay The figure above represents devices used by people between the ages of 18 and 25 to watch television in Canada in 2009 and 2019.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
213 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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