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Past experience of shoukat ali khatyan

Past experience of shoukat ali khatyan GNgoj
Thank you so much brother you have given me to share my feelings and a short story Well I am going to tell you how I suffered when I was preparing for a entry test. In 2016 I have completed my intermediate, my exams had taken by me in march month, I had no idea that I go university and get education from these highest institution because I was not affordable for a university education, so it was a miracle that Allah's helped me in my worst condition. In the month of September I had gone to Karachi for preparing entry test of university, I desire university was Karachi university and second choice was Sindh university jamshoro, So with the Help of Allah I got admission in Anees Hassan centre which was famous to prepare students for entry test so when went there and had taken my first coaching class. I was very innocent boy I did not know more people's of Karachi. How they treat Sindhis, so in my first class a teacher who is name. . . . . . . . who always teasing me because I'm sindhi he always mentioned it in every class and I was only one student who is sindhi and my Urdu language was also weak and I was always depressed due to I couldn't speak even Urdu, so I had decided to leave this city and centre too, and I call to my father that I am unable to face these worst condition and I don't life this city and along this is people, then I came back my lovely home land larkana city and again I got again admission there and did do self study, that I can get admission in Sindh university because this is only one option to me to study there and I was too much disliking Karachi's people, even I had lived three month in 2016 but had not made a single friend there nor got education In my opinion I got not good people there that is why I was hurting and teasing by everyone even teachers were teasing me, in the class I was backbencher and alone too. But I never give up I had worked hard and got admission in Sindh university, Alhamdulillah, I had learned many from university's hostel and my mates, But now I am again living in Karachi and I know now how to treat people those who are not good with you, this is what I have learnt and still I love to learn many things. Nowadays if anybody misbehave me then I would tell them how I ma This is my simple dialogue When I'm good, I am best, when I am bad then I am worst Dear brother my story is not complete yet but I am not deliver my feelings here because I don't have such a words those who can complete my lines, this is a reason.
Thank you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much brother you have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
me to share my feelings and a short story

Well I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you how I suffered when I was preparing for
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
entry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "2016, I".
2016 I
have completed my intermediate, my exams had taken by me in
The month "March" needs to be capitalized.
march
month, I had no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that I go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
education from these highest institution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I was not affordable for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it was a miracle that Allah's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me in my worst condition.

In the month of September I had gone to Karachi for preparing entry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, I desire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
was Karachi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and second choice was
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sindh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
Possible spelling mistake found.
jamshoro
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Help
of Allah I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Anees
Hassan
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
which was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
to prepare students for entry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when went there and had taken my
first
coaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
innocent boy I did not know more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's of Karachi. How they treat
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sindhis
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in my
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
a teacher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is name.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
who
always teasing me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I'm
Possible spelling mistake found.
sindhi
he always mentioned it in every
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
class and
I was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
sindhi
and my Urdu language was
also
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
weak and
I was always depressed due to I couldn't speak even Urdu,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I had decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
this city and
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
too, and I call to my father that I am unable to face these worst condition and I don't life this city and along this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, then I came back my lovely home land
Possible spelling mistake found.
larkana
city and again I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
again
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
there and did do self study, that I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sindh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one option to me to study
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
there and
I was too much disliking Karachi's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, even I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
three
Possible agreement error. The noun 'month' seems to be countable, so consider using: "months".
month
in 2016
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
had not made a single friend there nor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
education


In my opinion I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
there
that is
why I was hurting and teasing by everyone even teachers were teasing me, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
I was
Possible spelling mistake found.
backbencher
and alone too.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I never give up I had worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sindh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alhamdulillah
,

I had learned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
from university's hostel and my mates,

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I am again living in Karachi and I know
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
how to treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
with you, this is what I have
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
and
still
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things.

Nowadays if anybody
The pronoun 'anybody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "misbehaves", "misbehaved".
misbehave
me then I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them how
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'I'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
I ma


This is my simple dialogue

When I'm
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, I am best, when I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
then I am worst

Dear brother my story is not complete
yet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am not
Consider using a past participle here: "delivered".
deliver
my feelings here
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I don't have such
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a word" or simply "words"?
a words
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can complete my lines, this is a reason.
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IELTS essay Past experience of shoukat ali khatyan

Essay
  American English
12 paragraphs
492 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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