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The feasibility of shopping, working and communicating through the Internet is gradually eliminating the necessity of in-person encounters. I believe the merits of this opportunity outnumber its demerits and the lowered volume of traffic in addition to the possibility of long-range communication will be discussed as reasons for this claim in this essay.

The feasibility of shopping, working and communicating through the Internet is gradually eliminating the necessity of in-person encounters. I believe the merits of this opportunity outnumber its demerits and the lowered volume of traffic in addition to the possibility of long-range communication will be discussed as reasons for this claim in this essay. 56MmN
One chief benefit of using the Internet as a means of making purchases, working and communicating would be the lowered demand for transport, through eradicating the need for face-to-face contact. Such decreased volume of transportation would result in fewer harmful gas emissions which could significantly contribute to creating a cleaner environment. Furthermore, reduced commuting burden yields more free time for individuals. It could be spent in various ways such as working, studying and socialising with family and friends to name a few, which would be more productive and enjoyable. Another key merit of using the Internet would be the emergence of state-of-the-art telecommunication applications. These technologies have made it possible for those with access to the Internet to get in touch and send and receive audiovisual content by pushing just a few buttons. This presents a stark contrast to the situation only a few decades ago, when long-distance communication was possible solely through paper-based letters, which could possibly take months to reach the recipient. There are, however, some drawbacks to online communication, in particular the possibility that the lack of contact brought by technological advancements could potentially weaken human bonds. Taking into consideration that humans are sociable species, this could pose a dire threat to our mental health. This predicament, however, would be mitigated by the extra free time technological developments create for us. This free time could be spent with friends and family and in the long run would strengthen our relationships and improve our emotional wellbeing. To recapitulate, the Internet’s demolishing the need for person-to-person contact brings about numerous benefits. A more sustainable environment as well as more free time generated for individuals, a reduced need to commute in addition to the feasibility of conducting long-distance communication in the easiest way possible, are all instances of the above-mentioned merits.
One chief benefit of using the Internet as a means of making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
, working and communicating would be the lowered demand for transport, through eradicating the need for face-to-face contact. Such decreased volume of transportation would result in fewer harmful gas emissions which could
significantly
contribute to creating a cleaner environment.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
commuting burden yields more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for individuals. It could
be spent
in various ways such as working, studying and
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
with family and friends to name a few, which would be more productive and enjoyable.

Another key merit of using the Internet would be the emergence of state-of-the-art telecommunication applications. These technologies have made it possible for those with access to the Internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
and receive audiovisual content by pushing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few buttons. This presents a stark contrast to the situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few decades ago, when long-distance communication was possible
solely
through paper-based letters, which could
possibly
take months to reach the recipient.

There are,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks to online communication,
in particular
the possibility that the lack of contact brought by technological advancements could
potentially
weaken human bonds. Taking into consideration that humans are sociable species, this could pose a dire threat to our mental health. This predicament,
however
, would
be mitigated
by the extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
technological developments create for us. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
could
be spent
with friends and family and in the long run would strengthen our relationships and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our emotional
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
.

To recapitulate, the Internet’s demolishing the need for person-to-person contact brings about numerous benefits. A more sustainable environment
as well
as more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
generated for individuals, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
need to commute
in addition
to the feasibility of conducting long-distance communication in the easiest way possible, are all instances of the above-mentioned merits.
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IELTS essay The feasibility of shopping, working and communicating through the Internet is gradually eliminating the necessity of in-person encounters. I believe the merits of this opportunity outnumber its demerits and the lowered volume of traffic in addition to the possibility of long-range communication will be discussed as reasons for this claim in this essay.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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