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The fashion industry effects people life

The fashion industry effects people life Lw2VR
The fashion industry has a major effect on the whole world, it all starts when the first men decide to make clothes that protect them from the cold & hot weather with no specific design, until now where most of the clothes have a different design called fashion. Fashion had a great influence and effect on people these days, for example, some people think they should always wear in the current fashion because, if they don't, that's mean they are not in proper appearance to others, appearance always matter the most because people think that they should always look pretty and the way to do that by being in fashion, what is not totally right On the other hand, to be in fashion will cost you money, most the famous fashion like GUSSIC, ZARA, H&M and. . . etc cost over $50 - $100 for every fashion season, summer fashion seasons and winter fashion seasons. I think the fashion effect depends on people's personalities, some of us will think if they want to look more confident they should be on the fashion even if the fashion look really bad or appropriate.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
industry has a major effect
on the whole
world, it all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
when the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
clothes that protect them from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
& hot weather with no specific design, until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
where most of the clothes have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
design called fashion.

Fashion had a great influence and effect on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
these days,
for example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
they should always wear in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, if they don't, that's mean they are not in proper appearance to others, appearance always matter the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that they should always look pretty and the way to do that by being in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
, what is not
totally
right

On the other hand
, to be in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
will cost you money, most the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
GUSSIC
, ZARA, H&M and.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
etc
cost over $50
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
$100 for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
season, summer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
seasons and winter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
seasons.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
effect depends on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's personalities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of us will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
if they want to look more confident they should be on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
even if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
look
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
or appropriate.

IELTS essay The fashion industry effects people life

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
191 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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