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It is believed that volunteer work should be a mandatory part of high school programmes (for example: working for a charity, providing free lunch for the homeless or coaching sports for younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that volunteer work should be a mandatory part of high school programmes (for example: working for a charity, providing free lunch for the homeless or coaching sports for younger children). q6E3a
It is true that work related to volunteering should be a main subject in high school curriculums such as doing charity work, supplying lunch for the homeless for free or training younger children to play sports. From my perspective, I absolutely agree with this statement. To begin, doing volunteer work is likely to give children the feelings of appreciating their own life and accepting what they have. Since children have to interact with many young children or peers with miserable circumstances, they seem to think about their life and admit that they are living in a much more superior condition to these children. Therefore, they tend to not only please with their lives but also make little complaints about what they possess at the present. It can be clearly exemplified by giving food portions to homeless children or orphans. They can witness the poor conditions and really small desires of these people. As a result, they will not request unnecessary things that they want and appreciate what they have got. What is of equal importance is that this would set in children’s minds the conscience and the willingness to support others. When they have a trip to some destitute areas and give a hand in supporting the people there by giving them necessary things to satisfy their fundamental needs or helping young children to have a fun time. They would develop a characteristic which is the desire to help others and make them happier. Moreover, they seem to be sympathetic with these people. In conclusion, due to a wide range of benefits from doing volunteer work, I suppose that this type of work must be compulsory in high school programmes.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
related to volunteering should be a main subject in high school curriculums such as doing charity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, supplying lunch for the homeless for free or training younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to play sports. From my perspective, I
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, doing volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is likely to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the feelings of appreciating their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life and accepting what they have. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
interact with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
or peers with miserable circumstances, they seem to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their life and admit that they are living in a much more superior condition to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Therefore
, they tend to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
complaints about what they possess at the present. It can be
clearly
exemplified by giving food portions to homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
or orphans. They can witness the poor conditions and
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
desires of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
As a result
, they will not request unnecessary things that they want and appreciate what they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
.

What is of equal importance is that this would set in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
minds the conscience and the willingness to support others. When they have a trip to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
destitute areas and give a hand in supporting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
there by giving them necessary things to satisfy their fundamental needs or helping young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have a fun time. They would develop a characteristic which is the desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them happier.
Moreover
, they seem to be sympathetic with these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, due to a wide range of benefits from doing volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, I suppose that this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be compulsory in high school
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.

IELTS essay It is believed that volunteer work should be a mandatory part of high school programmes (for example: working for a charity, providing free lunch for the homeless or coaching sports for younger children).

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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