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the extinction of animals

the extinction of animals BgLBp
In today's world, due to natural and unnatural changes, the lives and survival of rare animal species are endangered. If these dangers are not prevented, the consequences will surely lead to the extinction of various animal species. Some of these ecological problems are the consequences of improper use of natural resources and pollution. One of the main factors that threaten the lives of the animals is the abusive and unsustainable use of natural resources. With the development of industry, its need for resources increases day by day and human beings use resources to meet its needs. Unfortunately, over-exploitation of resources makes major changes in animal habitats. In this case, either the animals adapt with the situation, which is rarely happens, or die. To prevent these problems, we can use environmentally friendly sources such as solar energy as a substitute for natural nonrenewable resources. The second cause of these dangers is pollution. With the growth of the population, the need for consumption will increase, which will lead to more pollution. Every type of pollution has its own destructive effects. Air pollution can cause in global warming, climate change, acid rains etc. Waste of materials and garbage pollute the jungles and seas and cause the destruction of the animals’ habitats and it also can poison them. In order to save animals and their habitats from these threats, we can recyclable materials and Carbon neutrality energies like wind energy, geothermal energy and so on instead of fossil fuels. To summarize, these changes, which result from the misuse of natural resources and pollution, are predicted to eventually lead to the extinction of large numbers of animal species. It can be prevented only if there are reformations in the use of resources and human lifestyle.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
and unnatural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and survival of rare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species
are endangered
. If these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
, the consequences will
surely
lead to the extinction of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of these ecological problems are the consequences of improper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources and pollution.

One of the main factors that threaten the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is the abusive and unsustainable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources. With the development of industry, its need for resources increases day by day and human beings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
resources to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
its needs. Unfortunately, over-exploitation of resources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
habitats.
In this case
, either the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
adapt with the situation, which is rarely happens, or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
these problems, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
environmentally
friendly sources such as solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
as a substitute for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
nonrenewable resources.

The second cause of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. With the growth of the population, the need for consumption will increase, which will lead to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. Every type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
destructive effects. Air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
can cause in global warming, climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, acid rains etc. Waste of materials and garbage pollute the jungles and seas and cause the destruction of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
habitats and it
also
can poison them. In order to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and their habitats from these threats, we
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
can recyclable
materials and Carbon neutrality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energies
like wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, geothermal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on
instead
of fossil fuels.

To summarize
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
, which result from the misuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
,
are predicted
to
eventually
lead to the extinction of large numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if there are reformations in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of resources and human lifestyle.
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IELTS essay the extinction of animals

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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