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smartphones make our lives better

smartphones make our lives better BgLAX
It seems like smartphones make our lives better. The mobile phone is the most important thing that we have ever known before. In my point of view, there are three reasons which I really love my cell phone and I would like to dsecribe my opinions. Firstly, the smartphones makes our lives easier because we can send messages by the phones instead of sending letters by mails Secondly, we can read latest news update from social media applications and it is more convenient than reading a newspaper. However, the blue light from the mobile phones can be harm our eyes when we use if for long time. In sammary, I agree with the sentence "smartphones make our lives better". Even now we have new innovation that greater than the smartphones, but I still like to use it.
It seems like smartphones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
better.

The mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing that we have ever known
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

In my point of view, there are three reasons which I
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
my cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and I would like to
Possible spelling mistake found.
dsecribe
my opinions.

Firstly
, the smartphones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
messages by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
instead
of sending letters by mails

Secondly
, we can read
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
news update from social media applications and it is more convenient than reading a newspaper.

However
, the blue light from the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can be harm our eyes when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
if for long time.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
sammary
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the sentence
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
smartphones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
better
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we have new innovation that greater than the smartphones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
still
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.

IELTS essay smartphones make our lives better

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
137 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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