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the electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationship

the electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationship JLmDe
Nowadays, electronic media has a important role in our dailylife. However, a number of people say that it made a impact in our life such as personal relationships with other people. I totally dissagree with this idea and I will set out the reason why this essay. As we know, some may tend to extend their group of friends via electronic meadia. They also make a new relationship by chatting in social networking. Also, it helps people can connect to famalies in another country. So that, the electronic media helps people keep in touch with their famalies or friends and allows to be share and connect to people in the world. On the other hand, sending email is a possible effect of electronic media. People can send these message through emails in stead of write hand-letters. It play an important in these days, because people do not spend more time to write and wait as much receiving response from their contacts. In conclusion, I believed that electronic media give more benefit for our life. Espeacially in the pandemic, it has a essential role.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our
Possible spelling mistake found.
dailylife
.
However
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that it made
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
impact in our life such as personal relationships with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I
totally
Possible spelling mistake found.
dissagree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and I will set out the reason why this essay.

As we know,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may tend to extend their group of friends via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
Possible spelling mistake found.
meadia
. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a new relationship by chatting in social networking.
Also
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can connect to
Possible spelling mistake found.
famalies
in another country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their
Possible spelling mistake found.
famalies
or friends and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
to be share and connect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world.

On the other hand
, sending email is a possible effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
these message through emails
Did you mean "instead of"?
in stead of
write hand-letters. It
Did you mean "plays"?
play
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not spend more time to write and wait as much receiving response from their contacts.

In conclusion
, I believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
give more benefit for our life.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Espeacially
in the pandemic, it has
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
essential role.

IELTS essay the electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationship

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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