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the electronic media has a negative effect

the electronic media has a negative effect Y2VlV
Nowadays, electronic media has an important role in our daily life. However, several people say that it made an impact in our life such as personal relationships with other people. I disagree with this idea and I will set out the reason why this essay. As we know, some may tend to extend their group of friends via electronic media. They also make a new relationship by chatting on social networking. Also, it helps people can connect to families in another country. So that, electronic media helps people keep in touch with their families or friends and allows them to be share and connect to people in the world. On the other hand, sending email is a possible effect of electronic media. People can send these messages through emails instead of write hand-letters. It plays an important in these days, because people do not spend more time to write and wait as much receiving a response from their contacts. In conclusion, I believed that electronic media give more benefits for our life. Especially in the pandemic, it has an essential role.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our daily life.
However
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that it made an impact in our life such as personal relationships with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and I will set out the reason why this essay.

As we know,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may tend to extend their group of friends via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a new relationship by chatting on social networking.
Also
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can connect to families in another country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their families or friends and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to be share and connect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world.

On the other hand
, sending email is a possible effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
these messages through emails
instead
of write hand-letters. It plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not spend more time to write and wait as much receiving a response from their contacts.

In conclusion
, I believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
give more benefits for our life.
Especially
in the pandemic, it has an essential role.
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IELTS essay the electronic media has a negative effect

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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