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describle an exciting competition you have withness

describle an exciting competition you have withness 06QOn
The competition between 11a6 and 11a5 with the men's and women's relay content took place in the school yard under the control of the teacher about 4 months ago. my team reached the final round with all the hard work and practice after every lesson. My class came up with a strategy for female friends - Linh was the one to rush to the finish line differently from the other team. The strategy was right, after the first run, the male member of my class was leading by a great distance. then pass the stick to Linh to quickly finish the race. but unfortunately Linh fell after running a short distance, at this time I felt Linh very painful and behind the opponent caught up. Under the cheers and cheers, the spirit tries to get up and continue the race with the wound. Unbelievable results, my class won. The whole class ran to the yard shouting slogans and cheering.
The competition between 11a6 and 11a5 with the
men
's and women's relay content took place in the school yard under the control of the teacher about 4 months ago.
my
team reached the final round with all the
hard
work and practice after every lesson. My
class
came up with a strategy for female friends
-
Linh
was the one to rush to the finish line
differently
from the other team. The strategy was right, after the
first
run, the male member of my
class
was leading by a great distance.
then
pass the stick to
Linh
to
quickly
finish the race.
but
unfortunately
Linh
fell after running a short distance, at this time I felt
Linh
very
painful and behind the opponent caught up. Under the cheers and cheers, the spirit tries to
get
up and continue the race with the wound. Unbelievable results, my
class
won. The whole
class
ran to the yard shouting slogans and cheering.
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IELTS essay describle an exciting competition you have withness

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
159 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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