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The economic growth in developing and developed countries is making people richer. However the research indicates that people in the developing countries is happier than people in developed countries. What is your opinion on this?

The economic growth in developing and developed countries is making people richer. However the research indicates that people in the developing countries is happier than people in developed countries. What is your opinion on this? OAap
There is undeniable that economic growth in developing and developed countries is changed the living standard of human. However, In developing world, the recent growth in living standard is positive impact. In developed world, the growth in living standard is negative impact. Both side of will be discuss in following passages. Firstly, The developing world it means better opportunity to personal and professional. For instance, the developing nation are trying to rise the growth of there GDP with the help of there tax payer so government make connection with other Nation to set up plant in there countries. Therefore, the job vacancy are open for unemployment and better future is there own and profession development. Secondly, There children get higher education and healthcare. Moreover, those children with higher qualification they uses of there techniques and knowledge that help  to there particular nation. There invention related to science also helping growth of developing countries and this is a beneficial impacts on it's. On the other hand, the developed nations has already living their high standard life. There income and the recent growth in the globle economy hasn't really done anything to their living standard also, they face difficult competition side with developing contries. Furthermore, more and more jobs are outsource of there company and where labour cost is also high so nation are not growing is that negative impact. In a nutshell,   a researcher feel that human in the developing world are much happier than developed world and those are also benefits in there lifestyle and future.
There is undeniable that economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
countries is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of human.
However
, In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact. Both side of will be
Consider using the past participle "discussed"?
discuss
in following passages.

Firstly
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
it means better opportunity to personal and professional.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
are trying to rise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of
Did you mean "their"?
there
GDP with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of there tax payer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
connection with other

Nation to set up plant in
Did you mean "their"?
there
countries.
Therefore
, the job vacancy are open for unemployment and better future is there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and profession development.

Secondly
, There children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher education and healthcare.
Moreover
, those children with higher qualification they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "use"
uses
of
Did you mean "their"?
there
techniques and knowledge that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
to
Did you mean "their"?
there
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. There invention related to science
also
helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
countries and this is a beneficial
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "impact"?
impacts
on it's.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
has already
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
their high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
life. There income and the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
globle
economy hasn't
really
done anything to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
also
, they face difficult competition side with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
Possible spelling mistake found.
contries
.
Furthermore
, more and more jobs are
Consider using a past participle here: "outsourced".
outsource
of there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and where
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
cost is
also
high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
are not growing is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact.

In a nutshell,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
a researcher feel that human in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
are much happier than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and those are
also
benefits in
Did you mean "their"?
there
lifestyle and future.

IELTS essay The economic growth in developing and developed countries is making people richer. However the research indicates that people in the developing countries is happier than people in developed countries. What is your opinion on this?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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