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Write about the following topic. Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience mMan
In my opinion, yes, famous people do not have any privacy as they are always surrounded by the Media, Papparrazi, fans. Wherever they go, they are photographed, asked for autographs, pictures, they do not have any privacy outside their homes and sometimes not at home too as there is alsways someone who will be just sitting near their bedroom window to get one picture, which doesn't allow the celebrities to even open their window for a fresh air or for sunlight. They must be feeling as if they are 24 hours under CCTV survelliance. If they want to spend time with their family or friend alone then they just have to be at their home as once they step outside of their home they will be followed by the media people. These media has taken over the privacy of celebrities. As per our Media, celebrities do not have a life of their own. For e. g. lets take Superstar of Indian television Mr. Salman Khan, Media keeps following him day & night, they keep a track of everything from where he goes, whom do he meet, which Gym he goes to, where did he party last night, who does he hang out with, whom is he dating etc. As per my view, these celebrities should be given more privacy. their fame should not be an invasion into their private life. Talking about the other side of the coin, its fine if Celebreties are followed 24/7 by Media as so many people idolise these celebrities, what they do, how they live, what do they eat etc. There are a lot of people who follow footsteps of their favourite actor, actress, musician, director etc. And it also gives a sense of warning to these celebrities not to get involved into any kind of illegal activities. As we are aware that celebrities are most likely to get drugs addict. if they are under watch 24/7 then they can't get into such kind of activities even if they want to as they are aware that they may get caught by the media.
In my opinion, yes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have any privacy as they are always surrounded by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Papparrazi
, fans. Wherever they go, they
are photographed
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
asked for
autographs, pictures, they do not have any privacy outside their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
not at home too as there is
Possible spelling mistake found.
alsways
someone who will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sitting near their bedroom window to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
one picture, which doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
to even open their window for a fresh air or for sunlight. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be feeling as if they are 24 hours under CCTV
Possible spelling mistake found.
survelliance
.

If they want to spend time with their family or friend alone then they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be at their home as once they step
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
their home they will
be followed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has taken over the privacy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
. As per our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
do not have a life of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. For
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
take Superstar of Indian television Mr. Salman Khan,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
following him day & night, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of everything from where he goes, whom
Did you mean "does"?
do
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
, which Gym he goes to, where did
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'he'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
he party
last night, who does he hang out with, whom is he dating etc. As per my view, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more privacy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
their
fame should not be an invasion into their private life.

Talking about the other side of the coin, its fine if
Possible spelling mistake found.
Celebreties
are followed
24/7 by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'idolise' is British English.
idolise
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
, what they do, how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, what do they eat etc. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who follow footsteps of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
actor, actress, musician, director etc. And it
also
gives a sense of warning to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved into any kind of illegal activities.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we are aware that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are most likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
drugs addict.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
they are under
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
24/7 then they can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into such kind of activities even if they want to as they are aware that they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
caught by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
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IELTS essay Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
348 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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