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The differences between Western and Eastern cultures.

The differences between Western and Eastern cultures. RW6BM
Eastern culture includes Asia and the Middle East, while the western world includes South and North America, European countries, New Zealand and Australia. The East and West have many differences based on their culture which is reflected in people’s attitudes and behavior. The difference between western and eastern cultures can be seen by looking at the role of elders. In eastern cultures, elders are the leaders in the home, so children do what the elders say without questioning them. Any important decisions to do with a child are generally made by an elder When /a comparison/ between/ eastern and western culture/ is made, one of the key differences/ between 2 culture/ is that/ a person from the West is more free and flexible to reach decisions on his/her own, unlike what happens/ in the East /where families make more decisions collectively. When parents grow old, children are often the ones who take on the responsibility of caring for them. Often in western cultures, an elderly person’s welfare becomes the responsibility of the state in collaboration with children or other close relatives. It The comparison between eastern and western culture shows that western education focuses on creativity and allows individuals to develop as much as they can. In Eastern education, the achievement is linked to struggle and hard work. This means you can achieve anything if you work hard enough. Students from eastern cultures often excel academically when in a western educational environment because they work harder than western children. Students in western culture are encouraged to actively participate in debates and ask questions. This is not so much the case in eastern cultures where what the teacher says is always right. Added to this is the extra effort in western cultures to integrate children who are classified as special needs. They sit in classrooms alongside other students. This doesn’t often happen in eastern cultures where special needs children are taught separately. Overall, when a comparison between eastern and western culture is made at this point in time, there is not a lot that the two cultures have in common but each should be respected for what they stand for and achieve.
Eastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
includes Asia and the Middle East, while the western world includes South and North America, European countries, New Zealand and Australia. The East and West have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
differences based on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
which
is reflected
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s attitudes and behavior.

The difference between western and eastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by looking at the role of elders. In eastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, elders are the leaders in the home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do what the elders say without questioning them. Any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
decisions to do with a child are
generally
made by an elder

When /a comparison/ between/ eastern and western culture/
is made
, one of the key differences/ between 2 culture/ is that/ a person from the West is more free and flexible to reach decisions on his/her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, unlike what happens/ in the East /where families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more decisions
collectively
.

When parents grow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
the ones who take on the responsibility of caring for them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Often
in western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, an elderly person’s welfare becomes the responsibility of the state in collaboration with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
or other close relatives.

It

The comparison between eastern and western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that western education focuses on creativity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
individuals to develop as much as they can. In Eastern education, the achievement
is linked
to struggle and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work. This means you can achieve anything if you work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. Students from eastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
excel
academically
when in a western educational environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they work harder than western children.

Students in western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
are encouraged
to
actively
participate in debates and ask questions. This is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much the case in eastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
where what the teacher says is always right.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Added
to this is the extra effort in western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
to integrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are classified
as special needs. They sit in classrooms alongside other students. This doesn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
happen in eastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
where special needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are taught
separately
.

Overall
, when a comparison between eastern and western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is made
at this point in time, there is not a lot that the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
have in common
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
each should
be respected
for what they stand for and achieve.
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IELTS essay The differences between Western and Eastern cultures.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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