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It is important for cities to have large public spaces such as squares and public parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for cities to have large public spaces such as squares and public parks. m5VPA
Although public parks and squares are considered to be an important part of any modern city, it is not the most desirable thing that allures the city. There are other attractions which make the city more progressive rather than this. Therefore, I disagree with the notion and will unravel my views in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, in order to make the city metropolitan, we can rely upon several places which make our area unique from others. For instance, In my city Vadodara, we have plenty of places to explore such as the friend's colony, temples, small playground areas, and beautiful heritages which represent the ancient image of Vadodara. As a result, people of my town visit those places and meet over there with each other. So that, they can save their time by visiting places like that rather than just hanging out in public gardens and malls. Furthermore, These attractions also help to generate income by the tourist who pays a visit and bring some good images with them in mind by seeing something different from modern cities. To exemplify, In India, there are ample tourist attractions are located in contemporary cities which have something different to offer other than magnificent malls and parks, and due to that, tourists make the unique image in their mind which helps us to grow our economy. Having said that, there is no doubt that metropolitan areas are incomplete without large public spaces but if they have something else to offer then it is more valuable insight than this. To conclude, even though huge public areas are part of any trendy place because of the advancement of technology, it is not the most desired part which cities should definitely have. Nevertheless, there are other places which make your city more unique than this.
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
parks and squares
are considered
to be an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of any modern city, it is not the most desirable thing that allures the city. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
attractions which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the city more progressive
rather
than this.
Therefore
, I disagree with the notion and will unravel my views in the upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the city metropolitan, we can rely upon several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
unique from others.
For instance
, In my city Vadodara, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to explore such as the friend's colony, temples,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
playground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
heritages which represent the ancient image of Vadodara.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of my town visit those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
over there with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, they can save their time by visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
like that
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
hanging out in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
gardens and malls.

Furthermore
, These attractions
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to generate income by the tourist who pays a visit and bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
images with them in mind by seeing something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. To exemplify, In India, there are ample tourist attractions
are located
in contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
which have something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
to offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than magnificent malls and parks, and due to that, tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the unique image in their mind which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to grow our economy.

Having said that, there is no doubt that metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are incomplete without large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
spaces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they have something else to offer then it is more valuable insight than this.

To conclude
,
even though
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are part of any trendy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the advancement of technology, it is not the most desired part which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
should definitely have.
Nevertheless
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
your city more unique than this.
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IELTS essay It is important for cities to have large public spaces such as squares and public parks.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
301 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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