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Product you would like to own in the future

Product you would like to own in the future 9Yjgw
I've wanted a camera for a long time. When I was little, my family took a set of family photos. The moment I saw the photographer, I thought he was cool. Since then, I've always wanted to grow up fast to make money to buy a camera. I have been imagining a black mechanical camera in my hand, but its price is really expensive for me because of that, I still can't own a camera. You know, I don't just love the camera because it looks cool, but also because I love taking good pictures. If I have a camera, I will take a lot of photos from nature to people so that I can save the beautiful moments in my life. Or I will become a photographer to make money if I lose my job, this is a great idea! I can't imagine a moment when I own a camera because the camera is very expensive so if I could earn my own money to buy it I would be very happy for sure. The feeling of being able to buy something I want for myself is so wonderful that I will really try to get a camera in the near future.
I've wanted a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
for a long time. When I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
, my family took a set of family photos. The moment I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the photographer, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
he was cool. Since then, I've always wanted to grow up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
. I have been imagining a black mechanical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
in my hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its price is
really
expensive for me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that, I
still
can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
. You know, I don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it looks cool,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
pictures. If I have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
, I will take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
photos from nature to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can save the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
moments in my life. Or I will become a photographer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money if I lose my job, this is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
!

I can't imagine a moment when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if I could earn my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it I would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy for sure. The feeling of being able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something I want for myself is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
wonderful that I will
really
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
in the near future.

IELTS essay Product you would like to own in the future

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
203 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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