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The differences between living in the dorm and rent a room outside campus

The differences between living in the dorm and rent a room outside campus 2ldKX
Living in the dorm and renting a room on lease are marked as distinctive for two main reasons as follows. First of all, the most perceptible factor between the two options is the price and facilities. As a matter of fact, dormitories are much cheaper than rental apartments. To explain this, while student residential areas offer basic amenities only, off-campus living spaces provide a wider range of infrastructure, some of which are unique when compared to dorm units, such as kitchens and various electrical appliances. Another element putting each housing type into perspective is the privacy and curfews. Rented condos allow their residents to commute, even late at night. In contrast, the dorm expects its students to be inside the living areas around ten p. m. Besides, college dorms have many students living under the same roof. Therefore, the level of privacy is often quite low. On the other hand, students living in rental apartments have their own bedroom and hardly share the spaces with many others. To sum up, the two above points have signified the notable discrepancies between boarding houses or rental units, and choosing either of them depends heavily on students’ needs and financial capability.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dorm
and renting a room on lease
are marked
as distinctive for two main reasons as follows.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the most perceptible factor between the two options is the price and facilities. As a matter of fact, dormitories are much cheaper than rental apartments. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
residential areas offer basic amenities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, off-campus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
spaces provide a wider range of infrastructure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of which are unique when compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dorm
units, such as kitchens and various electrical appliances. Another element putting each housing type into perspective is the privacy and curfews. Rented condos
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their residents to commute, even late at night.
In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dorm
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to be inside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
areas around ten p. m.
Besides
, college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dorms
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
under the same roof.
Therefore
, the level of privacy is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
quite low.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in rental apartments have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
bedroom and hardly share the spaces with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others. To sum up, the two above points have signified the notable discrepancies between boarding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
or rental units, and choosing either of them depends
heavily
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
needs and financial capability.
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IELTS essay The differences between living in the dorm and rent a room outside campus

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
198 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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