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the diagram shows the process of how to make smoked fish Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant v.1

the diagram shows the process of how to make smoked fish
This essay agrees that Long term-unemployed adults who receive government benefits should also be mandated to perform voluntary work to give something back to the community. Firstly, it would be beneficial for the unemployed people are they would gain relevant skills. Secondly, the government will save welfare money in the long run, which can be invested elsewhere. At the outset, there are numerous reasons why the long -term unemployed should be forced to do charity task so that they can return some value to the society. However, the most conspicuous one stems from the fact that performing charity tasks might lead to them developing employable skills that they might be lacking in the first place. Being out of employment for an extended period can be very detrimental to the confidence of the job seeker. Moreover, their skills might have lost relevance to the job market over time. Voluntary labour might give them the chance to sharpen their employment skills and gaining lost confidence, thus adding to the quality of the workforce, which benefits society. For example, the MHRD ministry in the UK reported that there was an overwhelming 44 percent rise in the morale and skills of the unemployed workforce after implementing the work for the food program. Another key justification for the fact is that this will result in savings for the authorities in the long run. Many out of work, adults claim unemployment benefits without bothering to look for assignments on a regular basis. If the government directs them to do community tasks, they might feel motivated enough to secure a job. Furthermore, the money saved from the decrease in the number of people claiming unemployment perks frees up government resources, which can be invested in other areas of society. Thus, benefitting the society at large. Take, for example, the country of Sweden, which has saved a staggering 44 million pounds after it started working for benefit programs for the out of work adults. The money saved was used to provide free education to orphan children. In conclusion, the pros of making the voluntary task compulsory for job seekers who draw benefits from the authorities are many. The society benefits from accruals in savings from not sustaining these benefits, and the number of workforce increases, Hence the government should make it mandatory for people to labour in charities in order to draw unemployment benefits.
This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Long
term-unemployed adults who receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
should
also
be mandated
to perform voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to give something back to the community.
Firstly
, it would be beneficial for the unemployed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are they would gain relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will save welfare money in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
run, which can
be invested
elsewhere.

At the outset, there are numerous reasons why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
-term unemployed should
be forced
to do charity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can return
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
value to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
However
, the most conspicuous one stems from the fact that performing charity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
lead to them developing employable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be lacking in the
first
place. Being out of employment for an extended period can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
detrimental to the confidence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seeker.
Moreover
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have lost relevance to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market over time. Voluntary
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
give them the chance to sharpen their employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and gaining lost confidence,
thus
adding to the quality of the workforce, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
For example
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
MHRD
ministry in the UK reported that there was an overwhelming 44 percent rise in the morale and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of the unemployed workforce after implementing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the food program.

Another key justification for the fact is that this will result in savings for the authorities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
run.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, adults claim unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
without bothering to look for assignments on a regular basis. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
directs them to do community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
feel motivated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to secure a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Furthermore
, the money saved from the decrease in the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claiming unemployment perks frees up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
resources, which can
be invested
in other areas of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Thus
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitting
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
at large. Take,
for example
, the country of Sweden, which has saved a staggering 44 million pounds after it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
working for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
programs for the out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
adults. The money saved was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to provide free education to orphan children.

In conclusion
, the pros of making the voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
compulsory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seekers who draw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
from the authorities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
from accruals in savings from not sustaining these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
, and the number of workforce increases,
Hence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it mandatory for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
in charities in order to draw unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay the diagram shows the process of how to make smoked fish

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
396 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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