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The diagram below gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000. v.1

The diagram below gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000. v. 1
Conservation of the environment is a crucial need of today's world. A section of society believes government to take authority to protect the environment; whereas, few people opine that every individual should take this responsibility. In my opinion, environmental preservation is a combine duty of the government and the citizens. The government has wide access to monitor the environment, and has the power to frame policies nationwide. Undeniably, government rules such as saving sanctuaries, forests and growing more trees can help to a great extent. Heavy penalties on destroying forests and wildlife could certainly contribute towards a greener world. The laws can be implemented using Compressed Natural Gas (CNG) engines in vehicles and imposing taxes on factories emitting poisonous gases. Secondly, the awareness campaigns can reach throughout the country through mass media and communication, which can motivate the population towards cleaner and greener habitat. The programs on global warming and change in climate can open the eyes of citizens and encourage them to save the world by keeping the planet unpolluted. Despite the above facts, I also believe that citizens are equally responsible for the environmental protection. Admittedly, if only government takes actions and citizens do not come forward then it is of no use. Every individual should take this ownership and must follow steps that can add to the preservation of the environment. For example, if country people start using public transport instead of private vehicle, then they can invariably contribute towards the cleaner atmosphere. Similarly, people can gift plants on occasions and run the propaganda to plant more trees. In conclusion, I pen down, saying that administrative bodies as well as every person should abide the laws of environmental conservation and take responsibility to enhance the environment we live in.
Conservation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is a crucial need of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world. A section of society believes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to take authority to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
; whereas, few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that every individual should take this responsibility. In my opinion, environmental preservation is a combine duty of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and the citizens.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has wide access to monitor the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, and has the power to frame policies nationwide.
Undeniably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
such as saving sanctuaries, forests and growing more trees can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to a great extent. Heavy penalties on destroying forests and wildlife could
certainly
contribute towards a greener world. The laws can
be implemented
using Compressed Natural Gas (CNG) engines in vehicles and imposing taxes on factories emitting poisonous gases.
Secondly
, the awareness campaigns can reach throughout the country through mass media and communication, which can motivate the population towards cleaner and greener habitat. The programs on global warming and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in climate can open the eyes of citizens and encourage them to save the world by keeping the planet unpolluted.

Despite the above facts, I
also
believe that citizens are
equally
responsible for the environmental protection.
Admittedly
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
takes actions and citizens do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward then it is of no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. Every individual should take this ownership and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
follow steps that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to the preservation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
For example
, if country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using public transport
instead
of private vehicle, then they can
invariably
contribute towards the cleaner atmosphere.
Similarly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can gift plants on occasions and run the propaganda to plant more trees.

In conclusion
, I pen down, saying that administrative bodies
as well
as every person should abide the laws of environmental conservation and take responsibility to enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The diagram below gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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