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the development of technology

the development of technology KWJk3
Nowadays, technology have a significant role in our daily life. There are a number of advantage also disadvantage about the growth of technology. Some of the advantages are it will help to boost the progress, more exact in detail. But there are also disadvantage about this trend such as unemployment growth, less communication in the workplace. Firstly, technology brought us a plethora of advantages. One of them is to boost the working process faster. In the factory, they would use plenty of machines as their main materials to create a product. And with those machine, it help the process to be faster because of their pre - installed program in the machines. Another benefit of that would be more exact in details. Sometimes, people might be less notice or too tired so they could not see some small mistakes. On the contrary, technology will give the exact same quality for every product and they won't miss out any small mistakes on the final product. Aside from the number of benefit that technology has brought, there are still some disadvantages with the growth of its. Unemployment growth will be a large disadvantage when technology growth too fast. When it is being used too much, the company will need to cut off some their employee to reduce the cost they have to pay for the wage. It will lead to more people get jobless, the unemployment rate growth synonymous with the decrease in economic growth. Another problem is that less communication in real life. Not only in their workplace but in daily life, people could use message app to talk with other people but sometimes they might worsen their communication skill. Overall, even though there are advantage and disadvantages, the increasing in the use of technology still helps us a lot. Consequently, if we try to not depend on technology too much and use it wisely, it will bring a plenty of benefit to our life.
Nowadays,
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technology
have a significant role in our daily
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life
. There are a number of
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advantage
also
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disadvantage
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
are it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to boost the progress, more exact in detail.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantage
about this trend such as unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
, less communication in the workplace.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
brought us a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
. One of them is to boost the working process faster. In the factory, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of machines as their main materials to create a product. And with those machine, it
Did you mean "helps"?
help
the process to be faster
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
installed program in the machines. Another benefit of that would be more exact in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
,
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people
might be less notice or too tired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
mistakes.
On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will give the exact same quality for every
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
product and
they won't miss out any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
mistakes on the final product. Aside from the number of benefit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has brought, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages with the
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growth
of its. Unemployment
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growth
will be a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantage
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
. When it is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
too much, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
off
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their employee" or "some employee"?
some their employee
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the cost they
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have to
pay for the wage. It will lead to more
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
jobless, the unemployment rate
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growth
synonymous with the decrease in economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
. Another problem is that less communication in real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in their workplace
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but
in daily
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life
,
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people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
message app to talk with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they might worsen their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
Overall
,
even though
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
and disadvantages, the increasing in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us a lot.
Consequently
, if we try to not depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
too much and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
wisely
, it will bring a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of benefit to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay the development of technology

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
324 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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