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The advantage of cars out weight the disadvantage?

The advantage of cars out weight the disadvantage? oVP0b
In this modern day, people are more reliant on their cars. I think merits of this situation is the far higher than it's permits. One nuance that should be taken into consideration is the fact that, one the one hand, cars increase the pollution of the air and greenery domain. Exhausting fums from vehicles have been dumping directly into the air without any filteration process. In habit of using cars on daily basis can leads to increase in traffic jams. Last but not least, being exposed to the pollute air, pedestrians suffer from health problems like asthma. On the other hand, having this mean of transportation may result in some positive significant effects. First of all, people will no longer have to wait for bus, they can easily and as soon as possible commute to work. Therefore time and distance aren't barries any more. Another advantage is that it brings you comfort; hence, people don't need to be in crowded place which proliferate being contaminated in this pandemic. The last one is that friends and families can carpool more often than not to their destination. To sum up, owning car have some problems but benefits of it outshine it's drawbacks.
In this modern day,
people
are more reliant on their
cars
. I
think
merits of this situation is the far higher than it's permits. One nuance that should
be taken
into consideration is the fact that,
one
the one hand,
cars
increase the pollution of the air and greenery domain. Exhausting fums from vehicles have been dumping
directly
into the air without any
filteration
process. In habit of using
cars
on daily basis can
leads
to increase in traffic jams. Last
but
not least,
being exposed
to
the pollute
air, pedestrians suffer from health problems like asthma.

On the other hand
, having this mean of transportation may result in
some
positive
significant effects.
First of all
,
people
will no longer
have to
wait for bus, they can
easily
and as
soon
as possible commute to work.
Therefore
time and distance aren't
barries
any more
. Another advantage is that it brings you comfort;
hence
,
people
don't need to be in crowded place which proliferate
being contaminated
in this pandemic. The last one is that friends and families can carpool more
often
than not to their destination.

To sum up, owning
car
have
some
problems
but
benefits of it outshine
it's
drawbacks.
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IELTS essay The advantage of cars out weight the disadvantage?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
200 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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