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The developement of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prmonent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one langu v.1

The developement of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prmonent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one langu v. 1
Advertisement is one of the key factors to sell a product from many decades. The power of advertisement can never be ignored, however, its effects are debatable. The positive and negative effects of advertisement on its viewers are discussed below. How advertisement causes an influence on its viewer? Advertisement during prime time on TV channels are the biggest factor for sales of a product as per research. These ads motivates a customer to buy thing they like and feel good buying. This is a blessing for a customer when the outcome of commercials help them out for the things they do due to its influence. For example, due to advertisement people buy car on special offer for up to 20 percent off, hence saving 20 percent on the full amount of the car. On the contrary, advertisement is one of the key factors that forces people to spend money on things they might never use which results in an economic stress on the consumer. Moreover, it may also cause out of budget expenses for the buyer. For instance, due to advertisement many people buy new cars during end of financial year sales. These sales are mostly paid via credit card causing people credit history to go down the slope and an increase in their credit card bills. In conclusion, advertisement results vary between positive and negative, but their effects cannot be ignored and it usually ends up on the consumer's end to be smart enough to see either it is beneficial for them or vice versa.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
is one of the key factors to sell a product from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
decades. The power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
can never be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
,
however
, its effects are debatable. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
on its viewers
are discussed
below.

How
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
causes an influence on its viewer?
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
during
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
prime time
on TV channels are the biggest factor for sales of a product as per research. These ads
You should probably use "motivate".
motivates
a customer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
thing they like and feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
buying. This is a blessing for a customer when the outcome of commercials
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "helps"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'help' is not always incorrect.)
help
them out for the things they do due to its influence.
For example
, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
car on special offer for up to 20 percent off,
hence
saving 20 percent on the full amount of the car.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is one of the key factors that forces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to spend money on things they might never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
which results in an economic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on the consumer.
Moreover
, it may
also
cause out of budget expenses for the buyer.
For instance
, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
new cars during
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of financial year sales. These sales are
mostly
paid via credit card causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
credit history to go down the slope and an increase in their credit card bills.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
results vary between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their effects cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
and it
usually
ends up on the consumer's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to be smart
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
either it is beneficial for them or vice versa.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The developement of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prmonent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one langu v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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