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The death penalty is the best way to control and reduce serious crime. To what extent do you agree? v.6

Unfortunately, a number of crimes are constantly enhancing all over the world. The majority of people believe that death penalty is the most beneficial tool to tackle with and reduce the critical level of serious crimes. I agree with the view that without it as femicide, juvenile murders and the foremost violence, which human life is ended will keep going. My first reason why I support this consideration is that if murders, who commit crime as killing, abusing, or forcing someone are punished by death in front of the public and the foremost their relatives, they are likely to avoid doing these types of murders. Moreover, nobody has the right to kill other innocent people barbarously. Based on researches, 100 thousands of people is being the victim of murder and the part of this number belongs to females, femicide in the last 10 years is continuously increasing and ones who commit these types of criminals are jailed by keeping in prison just from five to twenty years. In other words, I mean that they will not be able to turn into a kind person during their years in a prison. That is why, bringing back of execution will be the most decisive way for those who may attempt to commit the crime. Secondly, as known almost in every country, the number of child molestation is constantly rising. According to research, it is estimated that approximately 40 million people, notably children are abused and killed. In my opinion, There cannot be any reason for abusing and killing children brutally and none of those will not be educated by staying in jail for years. I will not cause giving up of their bad habits, unlike deterioration of those is likely to be unavoidable. Furthermore, I support that Capital Punishment should be by voting among the public. As sentencing one’s death is a serious decision, and not a decision that an authorized person can make. In conclusion, although Capital Punishment has some disadvantages, I think beneficial sides of this verdict are more than its disadvantages. From this regard, I support that it is likely to be the best solution of eliminating like these types crimes, and preventing other people from doing these.
Unfortunately, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are
constantly
enhancing all over the world. The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that death penalty is the most beneficial tool to tackle with and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the critical level of serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that without it as femicide, juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murders
and the foremost violence, which human life
is ended
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
going.

My
first
reason why I support this consideration is that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murders
, who commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
as killing, abusing, or forcing someone
are punished
by death in front of the public and the foremost their relatives, they are likely to avoid doing these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murders
.
Moreover
, nobody has the right to kill other innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
barbarously
. Based on researches,
Use a singular form of the numeral here: “100 thousand”.
100 thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is being the victim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murder
and the part of this number belongs to females, femicide in the last 10 years is
continuously
increasing and ones who commit these types of criminals
are jailed
by keeping in prison
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
from five to twenty years.
In other words
, I mean that they will not be able to turn into a kind person during their years in a prison.
That is
why, bringing back of execution will be the most decisive way for those who may attempt to commit the crime.

Secondly
, as known almost in every country, the number of child molestation is
constantly
rising. According to research, it
is estimated
that approximately 40 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
notably
children
are abused
and killed. In my opinion, There cannot be any reason for abusing and killing children
brutally
and none of those will not
be educated
by staying in jail for years. I will not cause giving up of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits, unlike deterioration of those is likely to be unavoidable.
Furthermore
, I support that Capital Punishment should be by voting among the public. As sentencing one’s death is a serious decision, and not a decision that an authorized person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
.

In conclusion
, although Capital Punishment has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
beneficial sides of this verdict are more than its disadvantages. From this regard, I support that it is likely to be the best solution of eliminating like these types
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, and preventing other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from doing these.
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IELTS essay The death penalty is the best way to control and reduce the most serious crimes.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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