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The death penalty is the best way to control and reduce serious crime. To what extent do you agree? v.2

The death penalty is the best way to control and reduce serious crime. To what extent do you agree? Some people believe that capital punishment is no humane way for execution, even if that person has committed a grave offence. Others think that the extreme penalty is necessary to keep the security system efficient in society. Personally, I believe that capital punishment is a necessary evil for a grave offence. This essay will support my opinion with some reasons and examples. Firstly, in our world exist people who commit really evil which cannot be fixed and no place for forgiveness. People with a violent nature should be removed from the community as early as possible. For example, any maniacs kill not only one person, but they also have a lot of victims, and usually, it is old people, children or women. I believe that all law-abiding citizens want to live in peace and the secure world which is no place for terrorists, maniacs and child rapists. Secondly, the death penalty is more cost-effective punishment and a cheaper alternative to prison. In other words, if the prisoners were incarcerated for long periods in prison; the government should allocate more funds to policing the prisons and accommodating those convicts. This means that the taxpayers have to pay bills for long term accommodation for those criminals. In my opinion this money better to spend on the healthcare system, education, etc. Furthermore, it can bring more economic advantages to the country like a safer place to visit. In conclusion, the death penalty is a must for any country that wants to deter criminals, who commit outrageous crimes, and not one that wants to waste money on prisoners because of long sentences.
The death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is the best way to control and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
serious crime. To what extent do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
?

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that capital punishment is no humane way for execution, even if that person has committed a grave
Possible spelling mistake. ‘offence’ is British English.
offence
. Others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the security system efficient in society.
Personally
, I believe that capital punishment is a necessary evil for a grave
Possible spelling mistake. ‘offence’ is British English.
offence
. This essay will support my opinion with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons and examples.

Firstly
, in our world exist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who commit
really
evil which cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
and no place for forgiveness.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
with a violent nature should
be removed
from the community as early as possible.
For example
, any maniacs kill not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
victims, and
usually
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, children or women. I believe that all law-abiding citizens want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in peace and the secure world which is no place for terrorists, maniacs and child rapists.

Secondly
, the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is more cost-effective punishment and a cheaper alternative to prison.
In other words
, if the prisoners
were incarcerated
for long periods in prison; the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should allocate more funds to policing the prisons and accommodating those convicts. This means that the taxpayers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay bills for long term accommodation for those criminals. In my opinion this money better to spend on the healthcare system, education, etc.
Furthermore
, it can bring more economic advantages to the country like a safer place to visit.

In conclusion
, the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for any country that wants to deter criminals, who commit outrageous crimes, and not one that wants to waste money on prisoners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of long sentences.
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IELTS essay The death penalty is the best way to control and reduce serious crime.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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