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The death penalty is the best way to control and reduce serious crime.To what extent do you agree?

The death penalty is the best way to control and reduce serious crime. v. 5
In recent years books are becoming a secondary criteria as a source of information and entertainment. As the above statement cites, nowadays people use search engines to accumulate information regarding any topic. Educational videos to impart knowledge and information and at the same time they provide soft copies for more in-depth information. I absolutely agree that books are no more a primary source from which people can accumulate information instead it is being substituted with online search engines like Google, Yahoo, Safari, Opera etc which provide information regarding any topic at your fingertips which in turn help people save time and effort. For example: if you need to search for “History of India” we can simply type in the text and multiple information is shown within seconds. Now reading and understanding information which we receive from books can vary from easy to difficult, whereas through educational videos people can impart information in such a way that netizens can understand it easily. For example: A video regarding “Sarcoma” A medical topic, has lots of complex information which might not be understood by scanning books whereas through an explanatory video a student will no doubt understand the subject more because it has been filtered through many books and then the most important information has been segregated to impart the information much more easier. To conclude books were the only source of information back in a time but now if you have an internet connection then any information can be at your fingertips in a matter of seconds.
In recent years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are becoming a secondary
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "criterion"?
criteria
as a source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and entertainment. As the above statement cites, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
search engines to accumulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
regarding any topic. Educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
to impart knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and at the same time they provide soft copies for more in-depth information.

I
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are no more a primary source from which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can accumulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
instead
it is
being substituted
with online search engines like Google, Yahoo, Safari, Opera etc which provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
regarding any topic at your fingertips which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
save time and effort.
For example
: if you need to search for “History of India” we can
simply
type in the text and multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is shown
within seconds.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
reading and understanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
which we receive from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can vary from easy to difficult, whereas through educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can impart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in such a way that netizens can understand it
easily
.
For example
: A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
regarding “Sarcoma” A medical topic, has lots of complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
which might not
be understood
by scanning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
whereas through an explanatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
a student will no doubt understand the subject more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
been filtered
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and then the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has
been segregated
to impart the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
much
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
.

To conclude
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
were the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
back in a time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
if you have an internet connection then any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can be at your fingertips in a matter of seconds.
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The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay The death penalty is the best way to control and reduce serious crime.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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