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“The danger and complexities of the modern world have made the mobile phone an absolute necessity for children.”

The dangers and complexities of the modern world have made the mobile phone an absolute necessity for children. v. 1
Nowadays mobile or smart phones are an absolute necessity for children and teenagers. When we had quarantine, phones became more useful. For school, for university we had to use phones. But kids are getting addicted to phones. And gadgets are also harmful for health, impair vision, emit radiation. There are many advantages and disadvantages. In my point of view children can use smart phones to study, to learn something, but not to play a game, maybe in a certain time. Firstly, in digital time not using smart phones is a sin. You can do everything with gadgets. Also it benefits for children. In that hard time they can stay at home and learn different things, like languages, musical instrument lessons, without wasting time on the road and preparation for school. Also parents can control their children with phones, see geolocation, and they calm when they know that at any moment they can contact the child. The disadvantages includes, that phones are hurtful for health. Children may get addicted to phones, and cannot notice how time passes, they lose visions. Many children sleep with their gadgets, it is also harmful for their health, because of radiation. Radiation affects the nervous system and immune systems, memory problems appear, attention decreases, sleep is disturbed, and headaches. It is difficult to control for parents, what information children derive with internet. Mobile phones are necessity for children, but only for study and improvement.
Nowadays mobile or smart
phones
are an absolute necessity for
children
and
teenagers
. When we had
quarantine
,
phones
became more useful. For school, for university we had to
use
phones
.
But
kids are getting addicted to
phones
. And gadgets are
also
harmful for health, impair vision, emit radiation. There are
many
advantages and disadvantages. In my point of view
children
can
use
smart
phones
to study, to learn something,
but
not to play a game, maybe in a certain time.

Firstly
, in digital
time
not using smart
phones
is a sin. You can do everything with gadgets.
Also
it benefits for
children
. In that
hard
time
they can stay at home and learn
different
things, like languages, musical instrument lessons, without wasting
time
on the road and preparation for school.
Also
parents can control their
children
with
phones
,
see
geolocation, and they calm when they know that at any moment they can contact the child.

The disadvantages
includes
, that
phones
are hurtful for health.
Children
may
get
addicted to
phones
, and cannot notice how
time
passes, they lose visions.
Many
children
sleep with their gadgets, it is
also
harmful for their health,
because
of radiation. Radiation affects the nervous system and immune systems, memory problems appear, attention decreases, sleep
is disturbed
, and headaches. It is difficult to control for parents, what information
children
derive with internet.

Mobile
phones
are necessity for
children
,
but
only
for study and improvement.
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The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay “The danger and complexities of the modern world have made the mobile phone an absolute necessity for children. ”

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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