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The computers' invasion nowadays

The computers' invasion nowadays 0E6kG
Nowadays the use of technologies is increasing and taking more place in people's lives. Some nations think that life is more comfortable with computers while others disagree with this opinion and are troubled by computers. Personally, I agree and prefer using computers to be more convenient. On the one hand, It is true that machinery is more commonly used by the new generation of the population due to its convenience and comfort. Computers can benefit a lot on people’s relationships. For instance, the public could communicate more easily by using e-mail, chat, and any social platform. Moreover, online services are popular in the majority of adolescents such as online banking, online shopping, and online classes. This can be clearly seen during the Covid-19 pandemic during the quarantine time. On the other hand, some groups of people did not grow up with this and feel uncomfortable with new technologies. The elderly who are not familiar with computers could be stressed and cause some confusion. In addition, computers can affect physical and mental health as well. Some people were forced to use electronic equipment at work which caused office syndrome from computers. From my perspective, I believe that automation provides advantages to outweigh disadvantages. Therefore, I agree with the opinion that computers have made people’s lives easier. The new generation of people deserve better ways of living and older people should be flexible to improve their skills to live in the modern world. To conclude, computers provide convenience and comfort for the community while can cause some damage as well. In my view, I completely agree and can accept all disadvantages of computers.
Nowadays the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technologies is increasing and taking more place in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that life is more comfortable with computers while others disagree with this opinion and
are troubled
by computers.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
and prefer using computers to be more convenient.

On the one hand, It is true that machinery is more
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the new generation of the population due to its convenience and comfort. Computers can benefit a lot on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
relationships.
For instance
, the public could communicate more
easily
by using e-mail, chat, and any social platform.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
services are popular in the majority of adolescents such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
banking,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
classes. This can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
during the Covid-19 pandemic during the quarantine time.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not grow up with this and feel uncomfortable with new technologies. The elderly who are not familiar with computers could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
confusion.
In addition
, computers can affect physical and mental health
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
electronic equipment at work which caused office syndrome from computers.

From my perspective, I believe that automation provides advantages to outweigh disadvantages.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion that computers have made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier. The new generation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
deserve better ways of living and older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be flexible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the modern world.

To conclude
, computers provide convenience and comfort for the community while can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
damage
as well
. In my view, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
and can accept all disadvantages of computers.
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IELTS essay The computers' invasion nowadays

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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