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many people believe that the deman of studying science is increasing day by day and they think it as a positive change for society.Where others believe that the increasing preference in science is creating social imbalance. In what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

many people believe that the deman of studying science is increasing day by day and they think it as a positive change for society. Where others believe that the increasing preference in science is creating social imbalance. In what extent nXVp2
Nowadays the majority of students are choosing science instead of other subject because it has enormous advantages. This essay will discuss why the demand of science is increasing significantly and how it is create social imbalance. To begin with, studying in science has many beneficial things then other subject and it make it easy to get different sort of job. For examples, to be a doctor or scientist every student have to study in science. Most of the students always focus to get a high-quality of jobs like doctors, scientist and that’s why the demand of science subjects are increasing rapidly. It is true that It is effective change for society too. Because when a student is studying with science he get extra knowledge and can contribute in Improvement of the country. On the other hand, it creates social imbalance too. such as starting with science is much more expensive. For what some student cannot carry it and go out of the study. Furthermore, it is very difficult subject to the majority of students which bring many negative stuff for them. As an example, when a student face so many difficulties then they can lose their confident and intention for what a huge number of people cannot be succeed with science because of those reason for what social imbalance is created. To sum up, In my opinion I completely agree with this statement because science is chosen by large number of people because of those reasons although it makes a lot of problems for the society.
Nowadays the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
instead
of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has enormous advantages. This essay will discuss why the demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is increasing
significantly
and how it is
Consider using a past participle here: "created".
create
social imbalance.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
beneficial things then other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sort of job. For examples, to be a doctor or scientist every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
always focus to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a high-quality of jobs like doctors, scientist and that’s why the demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are increasing
rapidly
. It is true that It is effective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
for society too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is studying with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "gets", "got".
get
extra knowledge and can contribute in Improvement of the country.

On the other hand
, it creates social imbalance too.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
such
as starting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is much more expensive. For what
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
cannot carry it and go out of the study.
Furthermore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
to the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
stuff for them. As an example, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "faces".
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties then they can lose their confident and intention for what a huge number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot be
Consider using the past participle "succeeded"?
succeed
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of those reason for what social imbalance
is created
.

To sum up, In my opinion I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is chosen
by large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of those reasons although it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems for the society.
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IELTS essay many people believe that the deman of studying science is increasing day by day and they think it as a positive change for society. Where others believe that the increasing preference in science is creating social imbalance. In what extent

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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