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The climate change. The responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage.

The climate change. The responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage. e3ROV
Currently, more and more people are affected by global warming in different ways such as heat waves more frequently, the sea level is rising which are directly linked to deforestation and pollution. So many people believe that this problem has to be solved by government. Despite of the severity of the problem, I think that is not the main issue, in fact, it should be the duty of all to fix this situation. Blaming the government will not halt the climate change. The first thing to consider is change the use of private cars and switch to environmentally friendly means of transport. According to the gathered data by researchers, a private car produces 70 kg of Co2 per year meanwhile the bus generates 14, 5 kg of Co2 per year taking in account that it carries a large number of passengers. The important point here is that the government could manage the situation and promote the use of these means by reducing fares and creating new ways to help people who cannot access them. A further reason is that people have to be aware of the situation and upgrade their houses with renewable energy. It is true that authorities do not provide many facilities to take care of the environment, nevertheless, this is the opposite case. For instance, it is well known that the government offers to refund 40-50% of the costs if you decide to opt for more efficient and non-polluting energy. There is some resistance to change from citizens, some of whom argue that it should be completely free. To draw the conclusion, one can say that people are not yet fully conscious of the issue and the authorities need to keep on improving the tools to curb this global phenomenon that affects all of us.
Currently
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by global warming in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways such as heat waves more
frequently
, the sea level is rising which are
directly
linked to deforestation and pollution.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be solved
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
the severity of the problem, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that is
not the main issue, in fact, it should be the duty of all to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
this situation. Blaming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will not halt the climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

The
first
thing to consider is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of private cars and switch to
environmentally
friendly means of transport. According to the gathered data by researchers, a private car produces 70 kg of Co2 per year meanwhile the bus generates 14, 5 kg of Co2 per year taking in account that it carries
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
passengers. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point here is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could manage the situation and promote the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these means by reducing fares and creating new ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who cannot access them.

A
further
reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be aware of the situation and upgrade their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
with renewable energy. It is true that authorities do not provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities to take care of the environment,
nevertheless
, this is the opposite case.
For instance
, it is well known that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
offers to refund 40-50% of the costs if you decide to opt for more efficient and non-polluting energy. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
resistance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
from citizens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of whom argue that it should be completely free.

To draw the conclusion, one can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
yet
fully
conscious of the issue and the authorities need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on improving the tools to curb this global phenomenon that affects all of us.

IELTS essay The climate change. The responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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