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Explain why you are volunteering ? Describe the activities you want to help with ? Say why your friend should join you ?

Explain why you are volunteering? Describe the activities you want to help with? Say why your friend should join you? 55AxB
Being volunteer in community centers and charity shops make you special, Because you give something back to you are society. I would like to do volunteer work in Angelou Center. This is the only centre in our town who help women and their children which are suffering from domestic violence. The other thing is they also provide accommodation for homeless people. I really want to work there. I have done child care course so I can do lots of activities with kids for example art and craft. For the women I will help them to learn basic English because they come from different countries there English is not first language and teach them maths so they can easily get job in future or go for further study in college. I will convince my friend as well to do volunteer job in this centre. He has just finished his IT course. Doing work here, he can get experience and polish his skills. We both can make friends and meet new people here In my opinion, we all should have to be volunteer once in life. Sometimes, other person needs us, our help and time. It's not harm if you give just one day for them.
Being
Consider using a past participle here: "volunteered".
volunteer
in community centers and charity shops
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you special,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
you give something back to you are society. I would like to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
work in Angelou Center. This is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
in our town who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
women and their children which are suffering from domestic violence. The other thing is they
also
provide accommodation for homeless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. I
really
want to work there.

I have done child care course
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I can do lots of activities with kids
for example
art and craft. For the women I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to learn basic English
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries there English is not
first
language and teach them maths
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job in future or go for
further
study in college. I will convince my friend as
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
job in this
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
. He has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
finished his IT course. Doing work here, he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experience and polish his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. We both can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
here In my opinion, we all should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
once in life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, other person needs us, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and time. It's not
Consider using a past participle here: "harmed".
harm
if you give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one day for them.

IELTS essay Explain why you are volunteering? Describe the activities you want to help with? Say why your friend should join you?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
204 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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