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The charts illustrate the number of people who were affected by four types of noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural areas in 2007 v.2

The charts illustrate the number of people who were affected by four types of noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural areas in 2007 v. 2
The graphs give information about how many people in countries and urban areas were influenced by four kinds of noise contamination during daytime and nighttime in 2007. In general, it is clear that people in cities were affected by noise pollution rather than in rural areas. In both charts, traffic is the main class in all time. Particularly, traffic noise in cities impact 64 million and 48 million people in the day and night, respectively, while that in countries were respective 34 million and 24 million, as a half as that in cities. Besides, the number of people in cities affected by train noise in daytime and nighttime was 10 million and 8 million, respectively, more than 2 million in rural regions. The remaining two reasons for noise emission, namely aircraft and industry were a dramatic decrease in the day and night. Specifically, just 10 million people were influenced by aircraft noise in cities and 8 million in rural regions in the day; while in the night, aircraft noise in urban and countries areas was the same, just 1 million people. Especially, nobody in countries was affected by noise from the industry at all time; however, the number of people were impacted by industrial noise were just 1 million and 0. 25 million in the day and night, respectively.
The graphs give information about how
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many
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people
in
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countries
and urban areas
were influenced
by four kinds of
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noise
contamination during daytime and nighttime in 2007.

In general
, it is
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clear
that
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people
in
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cities
were
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affected
by
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noise
pollution
rather
than in rural areas. In both charts, traffic is the main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in all time.

Particularly
, traffic
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noise
in
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cities
impact 64
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million
and 48
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million
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people
in the day and
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night
,
respectively
, while that in
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countries
were respective 34
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million
and 24
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million
, as a half as that in
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cities
.
Besides
, the number of
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people
in
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cities
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affected
by train
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noise
in daytime and nighttime was 10
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million
and 8
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million
,
respectively
, more than 2
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million
in rural regions.

The remaining two reasons for
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noise
emission,
namely
aircraft and industry were a dramatic decrease in the day and
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night
.
Specifically
,
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just
10
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were influenced
by aircraft
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noise
in
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cities
and 8
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million
in rural regions in the day; while in the
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night
, aircraft
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noise
in urban and
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countries
areas was the same,
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just
1
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million
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people
.
Especially
, nobody in
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countries
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
from the industry at all time;
however
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were impacted
by industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
1
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million
and 0. 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in the day and
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night
,
respectively
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay The charts illustrate the number of people who were affected by four types of noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural areas in 2007 v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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