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The charts illustrate the number of people who were affected by fore types of noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural areas in 2007 v.1

The charts illustrate the number of people who were affected by fore types of noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural areas in 2007 v. 1
# Essay Nowadays people appreciate person according to its financial condition as well as its fiscal ability. Meanwhile honour, kindness, ancient customs as well as values, trust trivial for individual's worth. I personally believe to this point of view and in this essay I will explain my agreement with some details. The first of all, now human being respect to each other according to their fortune. If someone indigent it would be inappreciable. So that now all of individuals try to be opulent. Currently, oof is very vital insomuch among friends. For instance, my uncle told about his friends that initially they very adores when my uncle worked as a boss and also when he was dives. After few time my uncle went to bankrupt and all of his valuable friends turned away from him. However, after a while he becomes wealthy again and his false friends returned to him as impertinently. But my uncle did not recognise them. It is an example of importance of richness among friends. Another point I want to make is that the traditional values such as honour, kindness and trust are required to be maintained in the society. For instance, parents need to be a role model who has these traits to educate their children to become decent citizens. Moreover, every relationship is form based on these features, so everybody just cannot choose their friends, according to how rich they are, or couples must have faith in their counterpart to lead a happy family life. In addition, people show generosity towards each other to make life more meaningful and this act also helps to be adorable as well as appreciable. To conclude, according to over mentioned examples that presently no one respects each other according to their ancient values, kindness and trust, as well as an honour. They are trivial than wealth. Perhaps, they do not know that richness cannot always help with them.
# Essay

Nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
appreciate person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to its financial condition as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as its fiscal ability.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
, kindness, ancient customs as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as values, trust trivial for individual's worth. I
personally
The usual collocation for "believe" is "in" not "to". Did you mean "believe in"?
believe to
this point of view and in this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my agreement with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
. The
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
human being respect to each other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to their fortune.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
someone indigent it would be inappreciable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
Consider using "all individuals" or "all of the individuals".
all of individuals
try to be opulent.
Currently
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
oof
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital insomuch among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
For instance
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uncle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
about his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
that
initially
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
adores when my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uncle
worked as a boss and
also
when he was dives. After
Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: "few times".
few time
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uncle
went to bankrupt and all of his valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
turned away from him.
However
, after a while he becomes wealthy again and his false
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
returned to him as
impertinently
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uncle
did not
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
them. It is an example of importance of richness among friends.

Another point I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
is that the traditional values such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
, kindness and trust
are required
to
be maintained
in the society.
For instance
, parents need to be a role model who has these traits to educate their children to become decent citizens.
Moreover
, every relationship is form based on these features,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
everybody
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
cannot choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to how rich they are, or couples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have faith in their counterpart to lead a happy family life.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
generosity towards each other to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life more meaningful and this act
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to be adorable as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as appreciable.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to over mentioned examples that
presently
no one respects each other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to their ancient values, kindness and trust, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as an
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
. They are
Use "(trivial)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
trivial
than wealth. Perhaps, they do not know that richness cannot always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with them.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay The charts illustrate the number of people who were affected by fore types of noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural areas in 2007 v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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