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The charts below show what uk graduates and postgraduates

The charts below show what uk graduates and postgraduates V0ygQ
The following charts illustrate a number of information regarding what UK graduate and postgraduate students did after leaving college in 2008 instead of finding a full-time job. There are some significant similarities in their approaches and decision, and also some differences in these categories. The least attractive destination of graduate and post graduate students was having voluntary jobs which included 3500 graduate and 345 post graduate students. While the most appealing decision for them was further study. Nearly 30000 graduate students and 2725 post graduate students chose to continue their studies. Part-time job and unemployment were at the further stages of graduate students with similar statistics, nearly 17000 students. But for post graduate students, most of them succeeded to find a part-time job and only 1625 students were unemployed. In general, most students in UK who did not go into full-time work after leaving college in 2008 had further studies and a minority of them tried voluntary works. It is also clear that part-time work and unemployment were their next destinations.
The following charts illustrate
Possible agreement error. The noun information seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much information", "a good deal of information".
a number of information
regarding what UK
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graduate
and postgraduate
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students
did after leaving college in 2008
instead
of finding a full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant similarities in their approaches and decision, and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
differences in these categories.

The least attractive destination of
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graduate
and
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post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
was having voluntary
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jobs
which included 3500
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graduate
and 345
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post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. While the most appealing decision for them was
further
study.
Nearly
30000
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graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and 2725
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post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
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students
chose to continue their studies. Part-time
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job
and unemployment were at the
further
stages of
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graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with similar statistics,
nearly
17000
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students
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
for
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post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, most of them succeeded to find a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1625
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were unemployed
.

In general
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in UK who did not go into full-time work after leaving college in 2008 had
further
studies and a minority of them tried voluntary works. It is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that part-time work and unemployment were their
next
destinations.
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IELTS essay The charts below show what uk graduates and postgraduates

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
171 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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